Fumana i-appIntlungu Iyaluma: Ithemba ngeeHolideIsampulu
Unokuzenza njani iiholide zibentsingiselo ezizaliswe luxolo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwenzeka ntoni na ebomini?
Xa usentlungwini, ngakumbi emva kokulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo okanye ubuhlobo kunye nomntu omthandayo, yimeko ebuhlungu kakhulu onokudala kuyo "ukuqheleka okutsha" okuyimfuneko...ngakumbi ngeeholide. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuthatha ixesha.
Ukuba sele kuphele iinyangana ezimbalwa zokuqala okanye unyaka wokuqala uphulukene nomntu omthandayo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uva ubuhlungu obukhulu kwaye awuqinisekanga ncam ukuba ungaceba okanye ungahambela njani kwiiholide. Abanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba abafuni kwenza nto, singasathethi ke ngokucwangcisa amaxesha anentsingiselo akhethekileyo ngeeholide.
Ngamanye amaxesha, eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza ngexesha lentlungu kukuzinika imvume yokuzola kunye noThixo kwaye uchithe ixesha leeholide kunye naye, njengoko uchitha ixesha emthandazweni kunye naye, yonwabela uthando lwakhe.
Abanye banokukwazi ukunandipha iKrisimesi njengesiqhelo ngokwenza yonke imisebenzi eyonwabisayo kunye nenokukhunjulwa kunye nezithethe abaye bathande ukuzenza...kwaye esi sisipho esikhulu!
Abanye banokuzifumana bephakathi kwezi meko zimbini... benqwenela ukwenza izithethe zesiqhelo, kodwa banqwenele nokuba bodwa ngenxa yokuba nexesha elinzima kunye nentliziyo ebuhlungu.
Zonke zilungile kuba intlungu asiyondlwan'iyanetha. Akukho "mpendulo engalunganga." UThixo ukhokela kwaye walathisa intlungu nganye ngendlela ekhethekileyo.
Mna ngokwam ndifumanise okokuba okukhona ndijolisa ngakumbi kuThixo kunye “nesizathu sokwenyani selixesha,” kokukhona ndikwaziyo ukulonwabela ixesha leKrisimesi. Kwakhona ndafumanisa ukuba xa ndigalela kwabanye ngexesha leeholide, kwaye ndixuba izithethe ezindala kunye nezintsha, iiholide ziba ngaphantsi komthwalo owoyikekayo.
Uzenza njani iinkumbulo ezikhethekileyo ngeeholide ngelixa ukhumbula abantu obathandayo okanye ujongene nomngeni wobomi?
Ukucela uThixo ukuba akuncede ujonge ngaphaya kweentlungu (ngelixa usamkela kwaye uphila nentliziyo eyaphukilyo kunye nentlungu) kwaye njengoko uzama intsingiselo entsha okanye isithethe seeholide esitsha kunokuba nzima; kodwa ekugqibeleni kunokuba luncedo...kwaye ikuphilise ngendlela emangalisayo.
Nantsi imizekelo embalwa:
Ngokuya ndandisemncinci, ndikhumbula utata wam esenza usapho lwethu lonke lunxibe iipijama zethu ukuze siye kubukela izibane zeKrisimesi kunye. Emva kokuba ndibe nomntwana ongowam, oko silihlonipha eli siko likhethekileyo kwaye sihlala sinxiba iipijama kwaye sijonge izibane zeKrisimesi kunye. Siyenze le nto ngaphezulu kweminyaka engamashumi amabini ngoku.
Elinye isiko endithanda ukulenza kukubhaka ezona zinto zithandwa ngudade wethu zeKrisimesi. Ndiye ndijonge ukuba ngubani ongonwabanga phakathi kosapho lwam kunye nabahlobo kwaye ndimothuse ngetreyi yezimungunyu zeKrisimesi ezicokisekileyo. Ndiyakuthanda ukukhuthaza abanye ngalo lonke ixesha leholide kwaye ndibanike ixesha lokukhululeka kwintlungu yabo.
Inenekazi eliselula kwiqela lam lentlungu, elafumana ukuswelekelwa yintwazana yalo encinane, labelana nam ukuba iiholide zazingcungcuthekisa kwiminyaka embalwa yokuqala emva kokusweleka kwentombi yalo. Eli nenekazi liselula likhethekileyo lamkela ingelosi (lizama ukufumana ingelosi enomhla wokuzalwa ofanayo nentombi yalo) kwiAngel Tree yasekuhlaleni kwaye lithengela umntwana osweleyo izipho ukukhumbula intombi yakhe.
Kukwalungile ngokugqibeleleyo ukukhanyisa ikhandlela ukubeka imbeko umntu omthandayo. Ndinomhlobo olungileyo oza kwiqela lam lentlungu (ukwayinkokeli ye-Grief Bites) olayita ikhandlela aze abeke umfanekiso wabazali bakhe ecaleni kwelikhandlela likhethekileyo. Yindlela entle yokukhumbula umntu omthandayo kwiholide nganye.
Buza uThixo ukuba angathanda ukuba ulichithe njani eli xesha leeholide. Lisenokuba lixesha leholide elipholileyo, elizolileyo elichithwe kunye Naye kuqala...lisenokuquka nawe ungumthombo wothando nenkuthazo kwabanye...lisenokuba kukubhiyoza kanye ngendlela obusoloko ubhiyoza ngayo...isenokuba kukuchita ixesha kunye (kwaye wonwabele) abantu obathandayo...kungangcono ukuba uphume edolophini uzikhuphe...okanye kusenokuba kukwenza zonke ezi zinto.
Nokuba ukhetha ukuzichitha kanjani iiholide, ndithandazela ukuba uhlale uyazi ukuba uThixo ukukhathalele kangakanani. Ndiyathandaza ukuba ithemba laKhe nothando lube yinyani kuwe! Ndinqwenelela wonke umntu uthando, impilo kunye noxolo!
Ngamana eli xesha leeholide lingazaliswa ziinkumbulo ezifudumeleyo, ezikheth... kwaye ngakumbi iTHEMBA!
Ngaba usifumene Esona sipho ESESIPHELELEYO...ubudlelwane noYesu Krestu?
Thatha ixesha namhlanje ufunde uLuka 2:1-21 kunye noYohane 3:16 ukuze uvule esona sipho sihle unokusinikwa nangubani na. UYesu ukulinde ngeengalo ezivulekileyo ukuba akwamkele - njengokuba unjalo - kwaye akuxolele zonke izono zakho. Ekuphela kwento omawuyenze kukuba nencoko enyanisekileyo noThixo ngokucela uYesu ukuba angene entliziyweni yakho uze umcele ukuba akwenze ube mtsha kraca!
Ukuba ungathanda ithemba elongezelelweyo kunye nokhuthazo, ndiyakumema ukuba ufunde ezinye izicwangciso zethu zokufunda:
•Intlungu iyaluma: Ukufumana Ubuncwane Ebunzimeni •Intlungu Iyaluma: Indlela Entsha Yokukhula Entlungwini •Intlungu Iyaluma: Ukukutyhilwa Kokuthandabuza •Ukucula Phakathi Kwesitshingitshane.
Sikwanikezela ngenkuthazo yemihla ngemihla kwibhlogi yethu nakwikhasi likaFacebook, kwakhona:
•www.griefbites.com
•www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief
Uxabiseke kakhulu kwaye uThixo uyikhathalele ngokunzulu intlungu yakho! Ndiyikhathalele kakhulu intlungu yakho, kwaye ndithandazela ukuba uThixo aphilise intliziyo nobomi bakho!
Hlala ukhumbula indlela uThixo akuthanda ngayo! Ukuthanda kakhulu kangangokuba Yena ngenene uyacula ngawe kwaye unemihlali kakhulu ngawe ngentliziyo ezele luvuyo! Uluvuyo lwentliziyo Yakhe! Ungaze ulibale indlela akuthanda ngayo kwaye wonwabele eli xesha leholide ngokupheleleyo kunye Naye!
"Bawo Othandekayo osezulwini Onofefe, ndiyakucela ukuba wenze umsebenzi omkhulu entliziyweni yomntu ngamnye namhlanje nakwimihla ezayo. Xa begutyungelwe lusizi, ndiyakucela ukuba ubasongele ngothando lwakho kwaye uyithuthuzele ngokunzulu intliziyo yabo. Xa iintsuku zinzima, ndicela ukuba ubathwalele intlungu yabo nemithwalo yabo. Ndithandazela ukuba Wongezele ngamnye kubo iTHEMBA lakho elihle, elixabisekileyo.
Nceda ubanike isipho sexesha leholide eyodwa enentsingiselo, ngakumbi kunye nawe. Ukuba abazange bakwamkele Wena njengeNkosi noMsindisi wabo, ndiyathandaza ukuba Ubakhokele kwaye ubakhokelele kwiSipho Sokugqibela—Kuwe! Siyakuthanda, Nkosi, kwaye siyakubulela kwangaphambili ngako konke oya kukwenza. NgeGama likaYesu siyathandaza, amen!”
Olu nqulo © 2015 luka Kim Niles/Intlungu Iyaluma. Onke Amalungelo Agciniwe. Isetyenziswe ngemvume.
Xa usentlungwini, ngakumbi emva kokulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo okanye ubuhlobo kunye nomntu omthandayo, yimeko ebuhlungu kakhulu onokudala kuyo "ukuqheleka okutsha" okuyimfuneko...ngakumbi ngeeholide. Ngokuqinisekileyo kuthatha ixesha.
Ukuba sele kuphele iinyangana ezimbalwa zokuqala okanye unyaka wokuqala uphulukene nomntu omthandayo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uva ubuhlungu obukhulu kwaye awuqinisekanga ncam ukuba ungaceba okanye ungahambela njani kwiiholide. Abanye kusenokwenzeka ukuba abafuni kwenza nto, singasathethi ke ngokucwangcisa amaxesha anentsingiselo akhethekileyo ngeeholide.
Ngamanye amaxesha, eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza ngexesha lentlungu kukuzinika imvume yokuzola kunye noThixo kwaye uchithe ixesha leeholide kunye naye, njengoko uchitha ixesha emthandazweni kunye naye, yonwabela uthando lwakhe.
Abanye banokukwazi ukunandipha iKrisimesi njengesiqhelo ngokwenza yonke imisebenzi eyonwabisayo kunye nenokukhunjulwa kunye nezithethe abaye bathande ukuzenza...kwaye esi sisipho esikhulu!
Abanye banokuzifumana bephakathi kwezi meko zimbini... benqwenela ukwenza izithethe zesiqhelo, kodwa banqwenele nokuba bodwa ngenxa yokuba nexesha elinzima kunye nentliziyo ebuhlungu.
Zonke zilungile kuba intlungu asiyondlwan'iyanetha. Akukho "mpendulo engalunganga." UThixo ukhokela kwaye walathisa intlungu nganye ngendlela ekhethekileyo.
Mna ngokwam ndifumanise okokuba okukhona ndijolisa ngakumbi kuThixo kunye “nesizathu sokwenyani selixesha,” kokukhona ndikwaziyo ukulonwabela ixesha leKrisimesi. Kwakhona ndafumanisa ukuba xa ndigalela kwabanye ngexesha leeholide, kwaye ndixuba izithethe ezindala kunye nezintsha, iiholide ziba ngaphantsi komthwalo owoyikekayo.
Uzenza njani iinkumbulo ezikhethekileyo ngeeholide ngelixa ukhumbula abantu obathandayo okanye ujongene nomngeni wobomi?
Ukucela uThixo ukuba akuncede ujonge ngaphaya kweentlungu (ngelixa usamkela kwaye uphila nentliziyo eyaphukilyo kunye nentlungu) kwaye njengoko uzama intsingiselo entsha okanye isithethe seeholide esitsha kunokuba nzima; kodwa ekugqibeleni kunokuba luncedo...kwaye ikuphilise ngendlela emangalisayo.
Nantsi imizekelo embalwa:
Ngokuya ndandisemncinci, ndikhumbula utata wam esenza usapho lwethu lonke lunxibe iipijama zethu ukuze siye kubukela izibane zeKrisimesi kunye. Emva kokuba ndibe nomntwana ongowam, oko silihlonipha eli siko likhethekileyo kwaye sihlala sinxiba iipijama kwaye sijonge izibane zeKrisimesi kunye. Siyenze le nto ngaphezulu kweminyaka engamashumi amabini ngoku.
Elinye isiko endithanda ukulenza kukubhaka ezona zinto zithandwa ngudade wethu zeKrisimesi. Ndiye ndijonge ukuba ngubani ongonwabanga phakathi kosapho lwam kunye nabahlobo kwaye ndimothuse ngetreyi yezimungunyu zeKrisimesi ezicokisekileyo. Ndiyakuthanda ukukhuthaza abanye ngalo lonke ixesha leholide kwaye ndibanike ixesha lokukhululeka kwintlungu yabo.
Inenekazi eliselula kwiqela lam lentlungu, elafumana ukuswelekelwa yintwazana yalo encinane, labelana nam ukuba iiholide zazingcungcuthekisa kwiminyaka embalwa yokuqala emva kokusweleka kwentombi yalo. Eli nenekazi liselula likhethekileyo lamkela ingelosi (lizama ukufumana ingelosi enomhla wokuzalwa ofanayo nentombi yalo) kwiAngel Tree yasekuhlaleni kwaye lithengela umntwana osweleyo izipho ukukhumbula intombi yakhe.
Kukwalungile ngokugqibeleleyo ukukhanyisa ikhandlela ukubeka imbeko umntu omthandayo. Ndinomhlobo olungileyo oza kwiqela lam lentlungu (ukwayinkokeli ye-Grief Bites) olayita ikhandlela aze abeke umfanekiso wabazali bakhe ecaleni kwelikhandlela likhethekileyo. Yindlela entle yokukhumbula umntu omthandayo kwiholide nganye.
Buza uThixo ukuba angathanda ukuba ulichithe njani eli xesha leeholide. Lisenokuba lixesha leholide elipholileyo, elizolileyo elichithwe kunye Naye kuqala...lisenokuquka nawe ungumthombo wothando nenkuthazo kwabanye...lisenokuba kukubhiyoza kanye ngendlela obusoloko ubhiyoza ngayo...isenokuba kukuchita ixesha kunye (kwaye wonwabele) abantu obathandayo...kungangcono ukuba uphume edolophini uzikhuphe...okanye kusenokuba kukwenza zonke ezi zinto.
Nokuba ukhetha ukuzichitha kanjani iiholide, ndithandazela ukuba uhlale uyazi ukuba uThixo ukukhathalele kangakanani. Ndiyathandaza ukuba ithemba laKhe nothando lube yinyani kuwe! Ndinqwenelela wonke umntu uthando, impilo kunye noxolo!
Ngamana eli xesha leeholide lingazaliswa ziinkumbulo ezifudumeleyo, ezikheth... kwaye ngakumbi iTHEMBA!
Ngaba usifumene Esona sipho ESESIPHELELEYO...ubudlelwane noYesu Krestu?
Thatha ixesha namhlanje ufunde uLuka 2:1-21 kunye noYohane 3:16 ukuze uvule esona sipho sihle unokusinikwa nangubani na. UYesu ukulinde ngeengalo ezivulekileyo ukuba akwamkele - njengokuba unjalo - kwaye akuxolele zonke izono zakho. Ekuphela kwento omawuyenze kukuba nencoko enyanisekileyo noThixo ngokucela uYesu ukuba angene entliziyweni yakho uze umcele ukuba akwenze ube mtsha kraca!
Ukuba ungathanda ithemba elongezelelweyo kunye nokhuthazo, ndiyakumema ukuba ufunde ezinye izicwangciso zethu zokufunda:
•Intlungu iyaluma: Ukufumana Ubuncwane Ebunzimeni •Intlungu Iyaluma: Indlela Entsha Yokukhula Entlungwini •Intlungu Iyaluma: Ukukutyhilwa Kokuthandabuza •Ukucula Phakathi Kwesitshingitshane.
Sikwanikezela ngenkuthazo yemihla ngemihla kwibhlogi yethu nakwikhasi likaFacebook, kwakhona:
•www.griefbites.com
•www.facebook.com/GettingYourBreathBackAfterGrief
Uxabiseke kakhulu kwaye uThixo uyikhathalele ngokunzulu intlungu yakho! Ndiyikhathalele kakhulu intlungu yakho, kwaye ndithandazela ukuba uThixo aphilise intliziyo nobomi bakho!
Hlala ukhumbula indlela uThixo akuthanda ngayo! Ukuthanda kakhulu kangangokuba Yena ngenene uyacula ngawe kwaye unemihlali kakhulu ngawe ngentliziyo ezele luvuyo! Uluvuyo lwentliziyo Yakhe! Ungaze ulibale indlela akuthanda ngayo kwaye wonwabele eli xesha leholide ngokupheleleyo kunye Naye!
"Bawo Othandekayo osezulwini Onofefe, ndiyakucela ukuba wenze umsebenzi omkhulu entliziyweni yomntu ngamnye namhlanje nakwimihla ezayo. Xa begutyungelwe lusizi, ndiyakucela ukuba ubasongele ngothando lwakho kwaye uyithuthuzele ngokunzulu intliziyo yabo. Xa iintsuku zinzima, ndicela ukuba ubathwalele intlungu yabo nemithwalo yabo. Ndithandazela ukuba Wongezele ngamnye kubo iTHEMBA lakho elihle, elixabisekileyo.
Nceda ubanike isipho sexesha leholide eyodwa enentsingiselo, ngakumbi kunye nawe. Ukuba abazange bakwamkele Wena njengeNkosi noMsindisi wabo, ndiyathandaza ukuba Ubakhokele kwaye ubakhokelele kwiSipho Sokugqibela—Kuwe! Siyakuthanda, Nkosi, kwaye siyakubulela kwangaphambili ngako konke oya kukwenza. NgeGama likaYesu siyathandaza, amen!”
Olu nqulo © 2015 luka Kim Niles/Intlungu Iyaluma. Onke Amalungelo Agciniwe. Isetyenziswe ngemvume.
Malunga nesi Sicwangciso
Kwabaninzi, iiholide lixesha lovuyo olukhulu... kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa iiholide zilahlekelwa kukukhanya kwazo kwaye zibe ngumngeni ngenxa yentlungu enzulu okanye ilahleko? Esi sicwangciso sokufunda sikhethekileyo siya kunceda abo basentlungwini ukuba bafumane intuthuzelo nethemba ngeeholide, kwaye sinikeza nendlela yokudala ixesha leholide elinentsingiselo phezu kwayo nje intlungu enzulu.
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Sithanda ukubulela uKim Niles, umbhali we-Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You, ngokubonelela ngesi sicwangciso. Ngolwazi oluthe vetshe, nceda undwendwele ku: www.griefbites.com
