Character is Key

• Look for character:
  • In our image-obsessed society, we often place undue emphasis on physical appearance. “How could I take him seriously after seeing ‘The Road Less Traveled’ on his bookshelf? If she would just lose seven pounds. Sure he’s a partner, but it’s not a big firm. And he wears those short black socks. It was going great: she had a great face, smile, and body, but then she turned around, and she had dirty elbows…” Picky Picky by John Tierney.
  • While physical attraction plays an important role in relationships, it's crucial to remember that inner character holds far greater value and beauty. Ask yourself if you would rather have a physically attractive partner with a questionable character or someone who may not be a supermodel by the world's standards, but possesses a remarkable inner beauty and Godly love. True fulfillment in a relationship blossoms when two individuals are wholeheartedly committed to each other for life. This unwavering commitment is the foundation for a life filled with joy and celebration.
  • Seek guidance from God through prayer and focus on character rather than perfection. Don't become overly fixated on finding someone who perfectly aligns with your checklist, as you might miss the imperfect, yet perfect partner that God has chosen for you. After all, what we perceive as perfection in others may not be the same standard we hold ourselves to.
• Looking for the “perfect” one is detrimental to your character:
  • First, it lulls you into a state of passivity, making you wait for the ideal partner to magically appear without any effort on your part. This passive approach hinders your ability to make informed choices based on character and shared values.
  • Second, it breeds complacency in your own character development. The belief that "the right person" will magically fix your flaws and shortcomings can hinder your personal growth and prevent the development of a strong, fulfilling relationship.

Scripture:

Genesis 24:12-14.

Reflection:

Do you perhaps put too much stock in superficial aspects of your (future) partner? What does it lead to?

Do you believe there is a “perfect” one for you? Where does this belief stem from?

Application:

1. If you believe in the “perfect” one, seek counsel from married couples you trust on the matter. Go with some questions prepared.
2. If you feel you do place too much importance on superficial aspects, try making a list of Biblical character traits that you could begin to focus on going forward. Consult a trusted mentor and seek their counsel on the list. If they are married, discuss with them how the superficial aspects on which you focus have affected their marriage.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus thank you that you are the greatest example of character. Please help me to fix my eyes on what is most important as I think about a potential partner to pursue. Thank you that Godly character in someone's life is more beautiful than anything else.