The Lord Comes First

• This means two things:
  • If you are seeking a relationship, it should be with a fellow believer.
  • Seeking a relationship with someone should never trump your relationship with God.
• The Bible has much to say about choosing a spouse with the same beliefs as you. When Abraham says ‘Go to my country, to my kindred’, he is asking the servant to choose a wife for his son who has the same beliefs as he does. You will never fulfill the purpose God created you for if you aren’t moving in the same direction with your spouse (i.e. towards God). Isaac followed God and had a mission in the land of Canaan. Abraham wanted Isaac to have a wife with the same beliefs and bought into the mission Isaac had, in order to partner together as a unified team.
• For those who follow Christ, continuing a dating relationship with someone who doesn't share your faith requires careful and serious consideration. While it's noble to want to bring someone to Christ, you must recognize that only God can truly transform their heart. While miraculous conversions do occur, they are not the norm, and it’s the believer's faith that wanes more often than not. Witnessing countless individuals lose their faith and purpose due to such relationships, it's crucial to avoid going down this path.
• Relationships are a wonderful thing to pursue, but don't let them become the singular focus. Grow in your relationship with the Lord and seek Him above all things. You will be surprised by how God orchestrates your relationships when you stop chasing them and rather chase Him. If you aren’t yet sure about the mission Jesus is calling you to, have a look at The Purposeful Life download on the Unseen Pursuit website which will help you.

Scripture:

1 Corinthians 7:39; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Genesis 24:3-4

Reflection:

Is your girlfriend/boyfriend a believer?

If yes, do you discuss your walk with Jesus?

If not, do you think it might have or be having a significant impact on your own faith? Are you willing to sacrifice the relationship, if it is steering you away from God?

Is being in a relationship or finding one the focus of your time and attention?

Application:

1. Consider discussions with your significant other about ways to connect with God and how to improve your own personal relationship with God as some starting points.
2. If your partner-to-be is not a believer, consider prayerfully how to broach the subject of the importance of your faith, and how it impacts the relationship going forward. Ask for wisdom if it is clear they are not willing to at least investigate Christianity. Be sure to end the relationship as kindly and wisely as possible, if that is the required step.
3. If you believe you focus too much on the relationship, who can you ask to help you take kind, careful steps to set the relationship in its rightful place in your life?

Prayer:

If a partner or potential partner is a non-believer:

Jesus Christ, Saviour of my soul, please come and give the gift of your grace to [name]. I pray that you open their eyes, even if slowly at first, to your goodness and sovereignty. Help me to walk together with them, to be patient and kind as they grow in understanding of the Christian faith. If this is not in your plan, grant me the strength and wisdom to end the relationship graciously and kindly.

If you are overly focussed on a relationship:

Father, thank you for the gift of this relationship. Forgive me for the time I have spent focussing on this relationship when I should have been seeking you. Show me the wisdom of your Word, and help me to meditate on it night and day so that it might sink into me, change me, and reorder my priorities. Help me lovingly negotiate how to set good boundaries and communicate the necessary changes to my significant other. Please open their mind and heart to receive this news with joy and grace.