Putting It All Together

By Regan & Kiana Hershey

“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”—Ephesians 5:33 (NKJV)

Hopefully over the past six days, your knowledge of the biblical framework for marriage has increased. Today we simply want to summarize what we’ve discussed this past week and encourage you to begin applying these ideas to your marriage.

Above all else, marriage must be centered and founded on the love of Christ. Two individuals whole heartedly seeking after God will subsequently be filled by Him and love one another differently. Our earthly idea of love is shallow and more self-seeking than we realize. But as we fix our eyes on Christ and allow Him to fully fill us with His love, we’re able to love more purely and generously. As you come to know the love of God more intimately, so will your spouse, because His love is reflected through your love to them. 

So, practically, here’s what this looks like for a husband and wife in their day-to-day interactions with one another.

Husbands . . . embrace the biblical principle that you and your wife are one flesh. When you make the commitment to be married in the sight of God, there’s no more you and me; there’s simply we. This means that every decision, whether big or small, should be made through the lens of what is best for both of you, not just yourself. In considering and including your wife in your decision-making, you will enable her to act in her God-ordained role as a helper, avoid self-centered choices, and subsequently minimize discord. When you love your wife well through considering your oneness in all things, she’ll find it easier to respect and submit to you, and you’ll find it easier to love and consider her, and thus the circle begins.

Wives . . . embrace the biblical principle of your husband's leadership in your marriage. Each day is an opportunity to treasure, care for, and enjoy your husband. Regard and treat him as your most precious gift! Adore and appreciate him for the way he considers, sacrifices, and leads you in oneness. Put off any form of defense, and instead choose to begin the cycle of love and respect for one another. Evident respect and submission to your husband will foster love and gratitude in him for you. In return, this cultivates an even greater desire to respect and submit to your husband. 

Take part and support one another's interests. Nurture a deep and fun-loving friendship. View each day as a new opportunity for connection, growth, and service to one another.

Finally, David Guzik summarizes Ephesians 5:22–33 on marriage as follows: “When you have a husband thinking, ‘I’m one with my wife, and I must think and act that way,’ and a wife thinking, ‘My husband is the head of our oneness, and I need to respect and defer to him as the head,’ then you will have a healthy, biblical marriage.” 

Pause: Consider the quote in the paragraph above. Do you think your marriage is reflective of it? How can you more fully live out your part?

Practice: Invite your spouse to join you in an activity you enjoy. For instance, husbands, if you like golfing or working out, ask your wife to join you. In the same way, wives, if you enjoy a day at the pool or getting your nails done, invite your husband to come and spend quality time with you. Be interested in each other's interests and watch how the other will feel connected to you in a new way. 

Pray: Thank You for my spouse! Help us to never lose our awe of marriage and the gift that it is. Teach us how to make choices that support our oneness and consider our spouse in all things. Give us eyes to see our spouse the way You see them, Lord. Refresh our love and friendship with one another as we invest in our marriage. Help us to treasure our time together and not take it for granted. Show us how to love each other in new and creative ways. Help us to uphold and model the biblical framework of marriage You have designed so our marriage and relationship may be pleasing to You. Amen.