Husband’s Call to Love His Wife, Part 1

By Regan & Kiana Hershey

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”—Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV) 

“Love your wives.” This seems like a pretty simple calling, right? It sounds easily achievable until you read the second part of the verse: “just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.”

This is the husband’s standard. There is no greater picture of this standard than what’s found in Philippians 2:5–8 (NKJV), which says, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”

As we’ve already discussed at length in this seven-day plan, the overarching principle that governs the wife’s posture in the marriage relationship is submission. This places enormous responsibility on the husband and is not something to be taken lightly.

If we look at the passage above closely, we see that Jesus, although He had equality with God, came and served humbly—and that’s the calling of all husbands. David Guzik says, “According to 2 Timothy 1:7, God has given us the spirit of power—but also of love. Power, in the Christian life, is always to be exercised in love.”

And this love, in the Greek, is called “agape.” This is a love that exists regardless of circumstances and is a decision of the mind and heart, as opposed to a love based on feelings. As a husband, your calling is to practice self-denial and to serve your wife as Christ served the church. And while this might not look like washing your wife’s feet (although you should try this sometime because it’s an act that contains incredible symbolism), it does mean humbling yourself and doing the laundry, cleaning up after the kids, washing the dishes, running to the grocery store, and a litany of other tasks that wives do every day with no questions asked. It also means letting her “in” emotionally—expressing your heart and having open and honest communication, like Christ did in every single one of His conversations. 

One of the best, and easiest, activities you can do together to immediately make a change is to take 10 minutes to sit down, look one another in the eye, and talk without any distractions. While this might not sound very hard, if many of us ask ourselves when the last time was we did this, the answer may be hard to come by. We live in a hustle-bustle world, so we must be intentional about connecting with our other half.

So, husbands, love your wives, unconditionally, in your actions and emotions. 

Pause: Husbands, how have you been doing in the area of sacrificial love? Do you have a mindset of constantly evaluating how you can serve your wife? When was the last time you did something you didn’t want to do in order to take it off your wife’s plate?

Practice: At some point today, sit down with your spouse in a distraction free setting and have a conversation. Not about work, the news, or the kids, but about how you are. Ask questions like: How have I been loving you lately? What can I do to love you this week? Do you have any dreams for next year?

Pray: Father, help me love my wife as Your Son Jesus loves His Church. Help me to die to myself so that I may live in submission to You and in service of my wife. Fill me with Your Spirit so that I may always practice sacrificial love toward my wife and daily wash her in the Word as I am changed and conformed to the image of Christ by it. Amen.