Wife’s Call to Submission, Part 1

By Regan & Kiana Hershey

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”—Ephesians 5:22–24 (NKJV)

Paul begins building the framework for biblical marriage with specific instructions to wives by advising, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22 NKJV). The word submission can be daunting and evoke a variety of emotions. Many individuals want nothing to do with the concept because it’s tied to pain. If that has been your experience, remember our world is fallen and full of sin. Everything God intended for good, the enemy tries to twist and distort, including God’s design for submission! Whatever your experience or however submission has been portrayed to you, let’s approach this idea with God’s heart in mind, with grace, and with eyes to see the intended framework God designed in the garden, before sin entered the world.

A wife’s call to submission means she recognizes and aligns with the God-entrusted authority her husband has over her. A wife must not forget, however, that she and her husband are also a unit. This means the wife should not consider herself or her desires more important than the unit, and in the same way neither should the husband. The emphasis is on uplifting the intentional design of the unit. Husbands and wives should take on the mindset of “us and we" over "you and me.” This causes each part of the unit to be thought of above the needs and desires of its counterpart. With this in mind, it should bring comfort that God’s design for submission does not indicate or infer, by any means, that one gender is inferior to the other. If that has been your experience, that is not the Lord’s heart.

Let’s break the word submission into two parts: sub and mission. Sub is used as a prefix, meaning “a secondary part of something else.” Mission is defined as “a specific task with which a person or a group is charged.” When paired together, it illuminates the alignment the Lord is calling wives to. Wives are first called to live out their mission as Christians, which is to live in such a way that pleases the Lord and brings Him glory, along with making disciples. Their sub-mission (their secondary mission) is to align with the design God has for their marriage—coming alongside the husband, respecting his authority out of obedience to God, and thereby submitting their desires to the greater good of the unit. Wives bring glory and honor to the Lord when they submit to the design God created for marriage. 

Pause: Does your marriage reflect the biblical framework for the wife’s submission? Do you find the idea of submission challenging or natural?

Practice: Wives, in your interactions with your spouse today, practice changing your perspective to view submission as an act of worship and an opportunity to love your husband by empowering him to lead you by the guidance of the Holy Spirit. 

Pray: Father, help my husband and I to see and understand Your design for submission. Help me, the wife, to embrace submission as a way of bringing You glory and in respecting my husband. Help my husband and me to celebrate my submission, and please guide my husband in his decision-making. Give him wisdom and discernment, and help him make me feel heard and considered. Draw us closer to one another and to You as we learn and grow together. Amen.