Wife’s Call to Submission, Part 2

By Regan & Kiana Hershey

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”—Ephesians 5:22–24 (NKJV)

In Genesis, God created man before woman. God said it was not good for man to be alone. So, He created a helper (a woman) for him as a compliment and partner. The creation of man and woman took place before the fall. This means the design for roles and partnership in marriage was laid out before sin entered the world. God’s intended design includes unity, helpfulness, defined roles, and submission. The Garden (of Eden) gives us a picture of exactly how God designed it to be before it was touched and tainted by sin. 

The enemy tries whatever he can to disrupt anything good God created. We must recognize he uses deception and temptation to draw wives into wanting to operate outside of their intended design and purpose in the marriage. This is why some wives can find it challenging to submit in general, or in certain areas of their marriage. Sin causes us to act and react in our flesh. Because of the fall, our sinful nature wants to push against the design God laid before us in the Garden. This is a real struggle for many but also an opportunity for God to be invited in to work. 

As followers of Christ, we are called to submit every part of our lives to the Lord, including our marriage. Wives cannot separate their obedience to the Lord from the instruction to submit to their husbands. A wife; therefore, is not fully walking in spiritual obedience if she refuses to submit. If our greatest priority is always to please and glorify the Father, then we must evaluate whether or not we’re living out the biblical instructions given to us in Ephesians 5.

The biblical instruction of submission is first to the Father, then to the husband. It’s the responsibility of the husband to lead his wife away from sin and towards the Father. His alignment is first to the Father and then to his wife. Submission becomes challenging when wives are asked to go against their own preference. In this circumstance, the wife is given the opportunity to exercise complete trust in their husband, making him feel loved and respected. If he is led by the Holy Spirit, not only can she trust him, but she can also trust the Holy Spirit within him. Remember, if he is considering the unit above his own desires, then her opinion will be highly valued and taken into much consideration. Therefore, wives, there’s no need to worry! 

There’s a distinct difference between personal preference and disobedience to the Lord. If the husband’s decision does not please or glorify our Heavenly Father and goes against His commandments, then the wife does not need to submit to a decision that will lead her into sin. 

There’s a joy that will fill a wife’s heart when she begins to submit to the Lord, and then to her husband. This is an act of worship because it brings glory and edification to the Father as she walks in obedience to His design and purpose for her life and marriage. Once she starts, she’ll begin to take delight in submission and find a new level of fulfillment in her marriage and relationship with Christ because both are operating as they were intended to.

Pause: Wives, how does knowing that submission is a biblical instruction related to and reflecting your obedience to the Lord affect your motivation to submit? Husbands, how does recognizing your wife’s call to submission affect how you lead her?

Practice: Every day husbands and wives make decisions together. Husbands, when a decision needs to be made, ask your wife for her opinion and consider it carefully as your decision affects both of you as a unit. Wives, gracefully offer your opinion, and then entrust your husband to make the final decision.

Pray: Holy Spirit, unify us as we make decisions together. Help us to consider one another's opinion and treasure it. We pray You will convict us to know when we are considering ourselves above and before our spouse. Help me, as the wife, to embrace the opportunity to trust my husband and to empower him as the spiritual leader of the home. Soften my heart, as the husband, to highly regard my wife's opinion and ultimately submit my will to Yours. Amen.