Tickets to the Freak Show

Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.

1 Timothy 5:13

Growing a bulletproof 2-as-1 marriage means you and your spouse focus on each other even when times are tough. Going outside of that very small circle only invites trouble into your lives. Your family, in-laws, and friends may love you, but they will never, ever care about your marriage like you do (or you should).

You and your spouse are most often the tickets that in-laws need to attend the freak show. Phone calls to family criticizing the spouse empower them to butt in. And by getting involved, that also includes taking sides and even suggesting divorce. If you want family out of your business, be careful how often you invite them into it.

If your in-laws know as much about your relationship as you do, then there’s a problem between you and your spouse. They shouldn’t know each argument, major purchase, child issues, etc.

Forgiveness between a husband and wife should be a continuing process. But parents, families, and friends tend to hold grudges against anyone who offends their loved one. We’ve seen parents bring up food tabs from the wedding reception over 20 years prior. Keep your partner’s back by not talking behind it.

CALL TO ACTION:

Discuss the importance of keeping your business your business with each other. When a man feels his words are betrayed, he will rarely share again. When a woman feels insecure about sharing her heart, she’ll begin to distance herself.

It’s vital that you both have a trusted space to share anything without family or friends being told or asking for advice. If telling others is an issue or one feels it’s a necessity, then discuss why they feel the need to spread the word and work to resolve the leak.