Blue-On-Blue

21 “Brothers will turn against their own brothers and hand them over to be killed. Fathers will hand over their own children to be killed. Children will fight against their own parents and will have them killed. 22 Everyone will hate you because you follow me. But the one who remains faithful to the end will be saved.

Matthew 10:21-23 (ERV)

I’m astounded by the depth of hurt within our blue fraternity. Hurt people hurt people. Pain and unforgiveness travel across multi-lane expressways in the ranks of policing. Unfortunately, there are no caution signs or stop lights as we hate and hurt out of control until we crash.

It’s an alpha-environment, where the wolves devour sheep even if they wear the same uniform. The uniqueness of cop culture is that we bond together to fight the external enemy, but when none exist, we cannibalize each other.

It’s constant drama in the squad room. Whether it’s about preferential assignments, who got the primo off-duty details, granted OT or who’s sleeping with whom, it gets messy amongst the brethren. Guess what? We bring it home to our spouses and usually project what we’ve endured onto them.

This is where the jabs go just below skin deep, so anger and resentment build up, but not bubble over. Instinctively we suck it up without confronting each other because we’re brothers of the badge, and that’s what we’re supposed to do, right? All that does is create a wounded spirit. We then become what? Hurt people.

CALL TO ACTION:

Talk to your spouse about any situation with a coworker that is causing you anger or stress. Drop the facade of being iron-skinned.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable with your beloved. They know you and love you more than anyone on your job.

Talking about strained relationships helps you process the hard feelings you may have against co-workers and thus help you be not so affected when they try to pounce.