Fighting Fair

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 18:21-22

Please practice speaking with kindness to each other. Leah and I call it, “Fighting Fair.” Sure, I can out-argue her and intimidate her into almost any decision I want through pure force of will and stubbornness.

But is that how God wants us to care for our spouse? A 2:24 Unit is about 2-as-1 for creating an invincible, bulletproof team as husband and wife.

God says the tongue holds the power of death and life. It's also no coincidence that the very next verse in Proverbs 18 talks about how a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and a blessing from God.

This association is coupled together to illustrate how important it is for us to speak power into each other’s life. I’m no different than other cops in that we never enter a confrontation to lose. That used to be my mindset with Leah, but all it did was hurt her. She doesn’t thrive on conflict and conquest. When I learned to fight fair, we immediately reached resolution rather than winner or loser.

It’s also a reminder to us that we’ve been blessed with a wonderful gift from God in our spouse. The way we treat the gift reflects on how we feel about the gift giver. By caring for our spouse, we honor God. The first and best way to do that is through our words.

CALL TO ACTION:

When’s the last time you said something harsh to your spouse? How about just a dry, cutting comment? It all hurts the same. As a kid, it was common to put a coin in the swear jar when we cursed. All that did was collect a lot of coins.

This isn’t the same thing. Harsh words and fighting with the only person who is as much a part of us as we are to ourselves is also hurting us. Focus on your words.

Take a moment and run them through your mind before speaking if you have to, but take precautions to safeguard both of you from hurtful speech and unproductive arguments.