Blending a Blue Family

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.

2 Corinthians 10:12

Don’t compare your new marriage, family, life, etc. to the one you had before. It’s new territory. It’s not a first marriage/first family situation. Don’t treat it like one. And don’t let your extended family do it.

How many times in your marriage have you heard a family member or friend say, “Well when he/she was married to (fill in the blank)…”

Comparison is the thief of joy. Unfortunately, we do it more than anyone else we know. Sometimes, we don’t give second chances at love the respect they deserve or look at a new marriage as a consolation prize because it was born out of failure from the first. You have a choice in deciding to prioritize your marriage instead of comparing it. Choose wisely.

You’ve both got a past and it’s important to be honest and upfront about it. You both must be receptive in talking about it whenever triggers or issues come up. This goes whether you’re a widow/widower or have been divorced.

Issues are going to come up. Ignoring them only prolongs the agony. Talking about it begins the healing process. Growing a 2-as-1 marriage requires commitment and communication - not comparison.

CALL TO ACTION:

If your marriage is a blended family, have you both talked about exactly what that involves? Are there ties to a first marriage through feelings (positive or negative), property, financial obligations, or time? Every strand that tethers either of you back to the past is potential harm to the present and future. Identify the risks and minimize where you can.