Social Media

How to Be a Tech-Savvy Parent in an i-Gen World

When my oldest daughter was in fifth grade, social media was emerging. She asked me if she could have an account because everyone in her class had one. I told her what every parent knows to say, “Not everyone in your class has social media.” I said this with prerequisite parental eye roll, clucking tongue, and shaking head. She challenged me with her class roster, and sure enough, every kid had an account. I reverted to standard line number two in the parenting handbook: “Well, if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it?” Answer? No social media.

Fast-forward to her freshman year, and we circled back to this request. I had learned quite a bit because wisdom accumulates in dog-year scales while parenting teens. This time I asked her to write a three-page report with references, assigned objectives, and evaluation rubric (poor kid with a professor mom). After a week, she returned with a much longer paper. I evaluated the criteria on safety issues. Check. Rules on posting? Check. Who to friend or not? Check. What to do if she witnesses bullying or threats of self-harm? Check. I began to feel a little smug, always the first sign of pride going before a fall. On the last page, I began to read the conclusion, expecting a terrific sales pitch. Instead, I saw, “After doing this research, I realize I am not ready to accept these responsibilities and decline social media at this time.” This was one of my most humbling but satisfying parenting moments. A year later she brought it up again, feeling ready. She is now in a healthy relationship with social media, using it responsibly but struggling with screen time, as we all do. Those crafting, recipe, and sports blooper videos are so satisfying, right?

Once when my teens had friends over, they sat on the couch side-by-side, completely nonverbal, glued to their phones, thumbs flying. Exasperated, I said, “Why don’t you just talk to each other!” Without looking up, in unison, they eerily said, “You can’t speak emoji, Mom.” That day in my house, with young teens at the beginning of smartphone days, I knew the phone thing had to change. Immediately.

Social media is a reality of twenty-first-century parents. It’s a great way to connect and seek support. But as parents, we often don’t give posting much thought. It’s called “sharenting”: venting frustrations about teen drama, funny bath photos, relief over being “kid free” for the moment, asking advice on personal struggles, angst about teen dating or driving, posting awkward photos making gentle fun of your teen. Here’s the thing. You are the literal caretaker of your child’s digital footprint. One day they will look at everything you posted and see themselves through your eyes. What will they see? A narrative that conveys approval only through accomplishments? Dirty laundry aired about conflicted relationships? A parade of embarrassing moments? That’s a big responsibility. So think before you post. It’s okay to be authentic and vulnerable. But ask yourself, is this a moment I want to preserve forever? Steward the extraordinary privilege of telling your teen’s story well.

Teens today struggle mightily with the pull of social media. It’s important to help them develop a healthy and realistic self-image, rooted and grounded by faith in Christ. We are His image bearers, and each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made.

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27

Imago Dei is a theological term used to convey the incredible truth that we are created in the image and likeness of God. The word image means mirror or reflection. Many times, though, when we look in the mirror, we don’t see imago Dei. Instead of seeing the fingerprints of God through His unique creation, we see only imperfections. Our mirror self-talk is crueler than anything we would say to anyone else’s face.

But God says, “You are called.” “You are chosen.” “You’re a new creation.” “You are forgiven.” “You are blessed.” “You are set free.” “You are redeemed.” “You are beloved.” “You’re being transformed.” “You are the apple of My eye.” “You are pursued.” “You’re a child of God.” “You are adopted, no longer an orphan.” “You are pleasing.” “You are never alone.” “You are a masterpiece.”

Our identity in Christ is much more powerful than our own image crafting. Speak His words of life into your teen!

Respond

Describe your involvement in social media.

Describe your child’s involvement in social media.

Describe your involvement in your child’s social media.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of parenting. Help me raise my children with Your guidance and wisdom.