Inkambo Yangaphambi KomshadoIsampula

Uxhumano

Silugcina kanjani uthando lwethu luphila futhi sihlala sixhumene kuyo yonke inkambo yomshado?

Chithani isikhathi esikhethekile ndawonye

Ukugcina uthando luphilile kungukukhetha ngamabomu. Kubandakanya:

• ukutshala imali ebunganeni bethu ngokuqhubeka senza lezo zinto esizithokozelayo sobabili
• ukwenza umkhuba nsuku zonke wokuxhumana ngomlomo nangokomzwelo
• ukuhlela usuku lwamasonto onke nozakwethu ukugcina ezothando, ubumnandi nothando lukhula phakathi kwethu

Thola izidingo ezingokomzwelo zomlingani wakho

Ukuthola ukuthi yini eyenza umlingani wethu azizwe ethandwa kwakha ukuxhumana okujulile phakathi kwethu futhi kusenze sikwazi ukuthanda ngempumelelo. Singahluka kakhulu komunye nomunye ngezindlela esipha futhi samukele ngazo uthando.

Izilimi ezinhlanu zothando

1. Amagama anothando
2. Izipho ezicatshangelwe kahle
3. Uthando lomzimba
4. Isikhathi sekhwalithi
5. Izenzo zomusa

Zonke izindlela ezinhlanu zokukhombisa uthando zibalulekile kuyo yonke imishado, kepha imvamisa kuzoba neyodwa noma ezimbili zazo eziveza uthando ngendlela esiluqonda ngayo ikakhulukazi nesithanda ukuluthola ngayo.

Ngemuva kokuqedela ukuvakasha kwanamuhla kokuzinikela ku-www.5lovelanguages.com ukugcwalisa uhlu lwemibuzo olufushane ukuqinisekisa ukulandelana kokubaluleka kwalezi zilimi zothando kuwe. 

Imfundiso yeZilimi Ezinhlanu Zothando ithathelwe encwadini ethengwa kakhulu kaDkt Gary Chapman, The 5 Love LanguagesⓇ: The Secret to Love That Lasts (© 2015). Ishicilelwe yiNorthfield Publishing. Kusetshenziswe ngemvume.

Ungabakha kanjani ubudlelwano obuhle bezocansi

Ucansi lusijoyina ndawonye, hhayi nje ngokwenyama, kodwa ngokomzwelo, ngokwengqondo nangokomoya.

Ungayisungula futhi uyigcine kanjani iphethini yezocansi ezinhle emshadweni:

1. Vumelanisa izinhliziyo zenu

Yilungele ukukhuluma

• ukukhuluma ngocansi kungadinga isibindi njengoba kudinga ukuthi sibe sengozini komunye nomunye
• tshelanani ukuthi yini enivula futhi yini enenza nifise ukwenza uthando

Letha ukuvalwa ebudlelwaneni bezocansi bangaphambilini

• ubudlelwano obudlule bungadala umona nokungathembani
• uma kunesidingo, nqamula kwimithombo yezokuxhumana kubantu obukade ukhangwa kubo futhi ususe ama-imeyili / imibhalo / izithombe

2. Lungisa amakhanda akho

Ubulili obuhle buhlobene kakhulu nesimo sethu sengqondo

• gcwalisani izingqondo zenu ngokuhle, okuhloniphekile nokuhloniphanayo ngocansi
• khuluma ngokulindela kwakho kanye nanoma ikuphi ukwesaba ongahle ube nakho mayelana nokwenza uthando

Izinkinga ezibangelwa ukuhlukunyezwa noma okunye ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi kusukela esikhathini esedlule kungadinga usizo lochwepheshe.

Uma izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ziyinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho, yiba nengxoxo ethembekile nengabi nokwahlulela nomlingani wakho. Ukuthatha izinyathelo zokushintsha imikhuba yakho kuzoba nomthelela omuhle kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi kuzokwenza ukulala ocansini okuhle kube ngokoqobo emshadweni.

Ukuzethemba okuphansi nomzimba omubi kuthinta izimpendulo zethu zocansi

• akha ukuzethemba komlingani wakho ngokubatshela ukuthi bahle futhi bahehe kangakanani kuwe
• hlala ubabaza imizimba yomunye nomunye, njengoba abathandi benza kaninginingi kuNgoma Yezingoma

3. Hlela imizimba yakho

Kunokwehluka okuphawulekayo phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane ekuvusweni ngocansi.

• thola ngokufunda nokukhuluma ukuthi yini evusa umlingani wakho
• nikeza isikhathi esanele sokuzilungiselela nokuvusa ekwenzeni uthando

Dala isimo sokwethembana.

• Ubulili obuhle buxhomeke ekuvumeleni ezinye izingxenye zobudlelwano bethu ukuthi zikhule
• kukhona ukuxhumana okuqinile phakathi kokuzinikela komunye nomunye ngezifungo zethu zomshado nokuzinikela ebudlelwaneni bethu bezocansi
• sebenzisa ukuzithiba - lokhu kuzodingeka lapho sizithola sikhangwa kothile ngaphandle kothandana naye