Inkambo Yangaphambi KomshadoIsampula

Ingxabano

Ukulindela ukungqubuzana

Ukungqubuzana akunakugwenywa kubo bonke ubudlelwano.

Inkinga akukhona ukuthi asizukuphikisana yini; udaba ukuthi sizisingatha kanjani lezo zingxabano. Into ebaluleke kakhulu kuyo yonke imibhangqwana ukuba namathuluzi namakhono okusombulula izingxabano ngokwakhayo.

Ukulawula ulaka

Ukuthukuthela akukubi ngokwako; yindlela esibonisa ngayo intukuthelo yethu engaba yingozi ebudlelwaneni.

Izilwane ezimbili zisiza ukufanekisa izindlela ezimbili ezingafanele nezingasizi zokulawula ulaka lwethu:

• Obhejane: akwazise ukuthi bathukuthele zisuka -- bayaqhubeka nokuhlaselwa
• Onogwaja: bayawufihla intukuthelo yabo -- bayazivikela cishe bayoba ethulile futhi angahoxisa

Kokubili obhejane kanye onogwaja kufanele bafunda ukuveza lokho basuke uphatheke kabi mayelana ngomlomo futhi ngomoya ophansi.

Ukufuna izixazululo ndawonye

Uma kukhona ukungaboni ngaso linye:

• bona ukuthi emshadweni ngempela usohlangothini olulodwa
• funa isixazululo ndawonye esizolungela ubudlelwano bakho
• lungela ukucindezela inkinobho 'yokumisa isikhashana' lapho kunesidingo (zibuze: 'Ingabe lesi yisikhathi esihle?' nokuthi 'Ingabe lena indawo enhle yokubonisa lokhu kungaboni ngaso linye?')

Izinyathelo ezinhlanu zokuthola isisombululo

1. Khomba bese ugxila enkingeni ebanga ukungqubuzana.
   Thatha inkinga ebangela ukungaboni ngaso linye phakathi kwenu. Kubeke phamb ikwakho bese nisebenza ngokubambisana.
2. Sebenzisa 'Mina' izitatimende
   Gwema kophawu (isibonelo: 'Wena njalo…' / 'Awukaze…'). Chaza imizwa yakho. (Isibonelo: 'Ngizizwa wacasulwa…').
3. Lalela omunye nomunye
   Zama ukuqonda nokwazisa umbono womunye nomunye. Shintshanani ngokukhuluma.
4. Cabanga ngezixazululo ezingaba khona
   Khuluma ngamathuba ahlukahlukene. Kungasiza ukubhala uhlu.
5. Khetha ikhambi elihle kakhulu manje bese ulibuyekeza kamuva
   Uma isixazululo osizamayo singasebenzi, zama esinye ohlwini lwakho. Uma ungakwazi ukuthola isixazululo ndawonye, cela usizo.

Inqubo yokwelapha iyalimaza

Ukulimala akunakugwenywa kuyo yonke imishado, futhi lokhu kulimala kufanele kulungiswe uma ubudlelwane bethu buzokhula.

Kunenqubo elula kepha enamandla yokwelapha:

1. Khuluma ngokulimaza
   Tshela umlingani wakho lapho bekucasulile. Ungabambeli ukulimaza noma uvumele ukuzidabukela nokuthukuthela kwakhe ngaphakathi kuwe. 
2. Ithi ngiyaxolisa
   Ukuziqhenya kwethu kungenza kube nzima ngathi ukuthi sixolise. Ukuxolisa kusho ukuthatha umthwalo wamazwi noma izenzo zethu ezingalungile. Ukusho uxolo kuvula indlela yokubuyisana.
3. Thethelela
   Ukuthethelela kungamandla amakhulu okwelapha emshadweni. 

Ukuthethelela AKUYONA:

• ukukhohlwa okwenzeka ubuhlungu
• ukwenza sengathi akunandaba
• ukwehluleka ukubhekana nokuziphatha okungalungile nokulimazayo kozakwethu

Ukuthethelela KUNGUKU:

• sibhekene nokungalungile okwenziwe kithi
• ukubona imizwa ngaphakathi
• sikhetha ukungabambeli icala kozakwethu
• ukuyeka ukuzisola kwethu kanye nesifiso sokuziphindisela

Ukuthethelela okokuqala futhi okubaluleke kakhulu ukukhetha, hhayi umuzwa.

• ukuthethelela kuyinqubo -- imvamisa kudingeka siqhubeke nokukhetha ukuxolela (kwesinye isikhathi nsuku zonke). Njengoba senza kanjalo, kancane kancane izinkumbulo zokulimala zisibamba amandla amancane nangaphezulu.