Choosing Marriage: 7 Choices For Healthy RelationshipsНамуна

We > Me: Choosing Selflessness

We all have an idea of what marriage will be like. We have hopes, dreams, and expectations for how it will look. We watch movies, read books, idolize TV shows, and observe marriages around us to get a glimpse of this thing called holy matrimony. But we don’t really know until we’re there, do we? 

Some say marriage teaches you more about selflessness than you ever wanted to know. I have come to realize that’s true. I mean, I knew I had the ability to be selfish, but I didn’t know I was truly selfish until I became a wife. People often talk freely about the concept of “two becoming one," but do we ever consider these things: One house? One bed? One bathroom? One mirror above one bathroom sink? One bank account? One budget? One remote control? All those ones leave a whole lot of room for selfishness when divided between two people. In marriage, you relearn the very preschool lesson of sharing in a very non-preschool kind of way. 

You spend your entire life as a single person with only one person to think about: yourself. You get to decide what you’ll eat, what you’ll wear, where you’ll go, how you’ll spend your money, and exactly what you want to do with your time and energy. But suddenly, you’re faced with someone who brings to your life a whole new set of desires, needs, habits, quirks, opinions and ideas. And only selflessness can bridge the gap, transforming your differences into your greatest assets. As you’re seeking to apply selflessness to your life and marriage today, consider this simple, yet profound formula: We > Me. Because we before me is where it always has to begin. 

Question for Reflection: What is one way I can show selflessness in my closest relationships today? Do I understand the difference between selflessness and passivity? 

Today’s Prayer: Jesus, it’s easy to live a self-absorbed life. Give me the strength to look to the interests of others in all I say and do today. Amen.

These devotions are adapted from the book Choosing Marriage by licensed counselor Debra Fileta. Visit http://bit.ly/ChoosingMarriage to learn more about choices you can make today to take marriage from average to exceptional!