Missional FriendshipSample

Day 9 - Be One To Have One

We can desire from others what we are unwilling to be for them. It is a harsh truth. Missional friendship requires a willingness to “go first." To take the lead in creating with and for others what we know is good for us. It is hypocrisy to live a life of “Do as I say, not as I do.”

I have people who hesitate to reach out to me relationally because they say, “You’re so busy.” And I am. If you are a leader, you will always have more to do than the time to do it all. It is too easy to sacrifice life-giving friendship on the altar of busyness. The wise leader prepares in the time of plenty for the times of lack.

Missional friendship is never a 50%-50% type of relationship where each person is giving an equal amount, and it always balances out to equal 100%. One of the reasons is because life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes, we live from the overflow, and we splash all over the people around us with our excess. Sometimes we are the ones who need to be blessed by the overflow of others. Life is a journey of seasons. Wisdom is knowing what season it is and living appropriately to that season.

Missional friendship is 100% -- 100% where each person is all the way in.

When we approach relationships this way, what happens is we are able to meet the needs of others when they have a lack. And our friends are able to meet our needs when we have a lack. Paul talks about his desire to see the Thessalonian church so he can “…supply what is lacking…” in their faith. The Philippians were reminded not to look out for their own interests, but to the interests of others. That is a Missional Friendship mindset.

The story of David and Jonathan is an example of this kind of all-in friendship. Jonathan showed devotion to David, even when Saul saw him as a threat. When Jonathan died, David stepped in and cared for his son Mephibosheth. In life (and especially in ministry), relationships can too often be based on “what have you done for me lately?” Missional friendship says, “What can I do for you now, because I am committed to you?”

Questions to Consider:

• What have you desired from others that you have struggled to be to others? What has gotten in the way?
• What will it cost you to be for others what you want others to be for you?

Action to Take:

• Write down a list of 3-5 people who you would be willing to be the kind of friend to that you want for your own life. Pray for them for the next two weeks.

Prayer to Make:

Pray for the spiritual eyes to see the person you need to show up for today. Pray for a leader that the Holy Spirit brings to your mind to have someone show up for them in a meaningful way.