Missional FriendshipSample

Day 7 - Building Friendship Through Shared Experiences

One of the easily overlooked friendship dynamics of Jesus and his disciples is how much they walked together. Literally walked together. The only time we see in scripture that Jesus didn’t walk somewhere (other than when he was in a boat) was when he rode into Jerusalem on the donkey.

Conservative estimates of how many miles Jesus and his disciples walked during his three-year public ministry period are about 4,000, but the number could be as high as 10,000 miles! That is a lot of travel time together. Think of the conversations they had, the people they met, the nighttime fires, the sunrises they awoke to. The richness of their life together created deep relationships.

Great groups, great friendships…

…learn together

…eat together

…pray together

…serve together

…laugh together

…play together

Shared experiences take time. You have to make the time to create the space to experience life together in the same place, with the same people. This creates a common narrative around your shared story and their shared stories. When this happens, there is a deep bond that builds intimacy, trust, and awareness.

I have a group of guys who, every summer for years, take a week to go backpacking in the Desolation Wilderness of California. One of the things I do that is now joked about is asking lots of questions during our time. Each night and every morning I pose a question curious about our life experiences, beliefs, convictions, wounds and victories. There are great stories! Those stories create enduring bonds.

I also like having meals with my friends, the ministry team, and leaders. There is something about a plate of food in front of you that creates the environment of openness, honesty, and vulnerability that helps people share their stories.

Questions to Consider:

• What experiences have you had that have created deep bonds with others?
• What gets in the way of creating the time and space to create experiences with friends?

Action to Take:

• Plan a mini-experience this week with someone you want a deeper relationship with. Do something that is unique and out of the ordinary for you and their normal rhythm of activities.

Prayer to Make:

• Thank God for the experiences you have had and how they have enriched your life and your relationships. Pray for a leader that the Holy Spirit brings to your mind to have an experience with others this week that will bless them.