Missional FriendshipSample

Day 4 - Building Friendship Through Intentionality

My friends Victor and Sarah Kabutha have a marriage ministry in East Africa. In one of their sessions I was participating in, they asked the question: “What makes for a strong marriage?” The answers from the group were what you would expect: love, communication, time together, intimacy…good things! And they said we weren’t getting it quite right.

What we were missing was HOW those things were done. We were missing the word “intentional." Intentional love, intentional communication, intentional time together, intentional intimacy.

That which is not intentional is accidental. If we aren’t intentional wives, husbands, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, employees, employers…(you get the idea), then we show up accidentally, and the outcome is more about luck than intention.

Missional friendships are intentional friendships. There is intentionality when you meet, and there is intentionality in what you do when you are together, engaging with each other about the deeper issues of life. There is intentionality in the choices to be honest, open, and completely present for each other. There is intentionality in how you meet together, knowing that how we do things leads to what we will experience.

Intentionality is a reflection of discipline. Discipline is doing the right thing, at the right time, in the right way, consistently. Intentionality is about investing in a long-term return that is much greater than the small sacrifice that was consistently done over time.

Questions to Consider:

• Where do you practice intentionality in your life? What motivates you to do this?
• How can you be intentional in your friendships that will bear long-term fruit?

Action to Take:

• Experiment with one act of intentionality that will strengthen your friendships.

Prayer to Make:

• Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern what is best and the courage to pursue it. Pray for a leader that the Holy Spirit brings to your mind to choose where they spend their time well.