Daily PresenceSample

Saul fascinates me. Here is a man who was chosen by the Lord. However, when Saul hears he will be the king…what does he do? He hides! I am not sure that would inspire the people too much. Yet they declare that’s what they want. He describes himself as least among the smallest tribe. Again, he doesn’t seem to suffer from a large ego.

Saul does seem to suffer from a poor sense of himself and needs everyone else to approve of him. He viewed himself poorly, he hid himself, and in chapter 12 Samuel tells the people that they got a king because they wanted a king. But wanting a king was a great evil. I wondered what it would feel like to be introduced as the king but oh by the way, having a king is bad. You wanted it though, so you got it.

I was feeling bad for the guy. I would feel bad for myself! God is telling everyone that even having me as king is a bad deal. I struggle with some self-image things anyway…how tough would this be?

I realize in that moment while thinking like Saul, that I am focused on me and not God. I am not stopping to say, “guys listen to this prophet—picking a king is not good for us. I will do it because God chose me to do it, but He really doesn’t want this for us”. Instead, we look at it just from our perspective. I am not good enough, or I did it and you didn’t love me for it. It’s all about me. In fact, I purposely left in this writing the mistake I made—God didn’t tell them that Saul was a bad choice—He told them having any king was bad.

So, saying that Saul didn’t suffer from a large ego might not be true. He seemed very consumed by a sense of feeling inadequate. As a person who can do this all too easily, I can take the focus away from God and put it on me, all while beating myself up and thinking poorly of myself. We can stop obeying and trusting Him and instead think about how it looks and feels to us, even while doing what He asks. If we do that, we end up trusting our eyes and not God!