When I was in college, my roommate and I started a band. He played guitar and I played bass. Yet, we still needed a drummer. Eventually, we met a friend who could play. Let’s call him Billy for the sake of the story. Billy practiced with us and played a few shows with us and we all had a great time. Then, as we met more musicians, some people would come over and jam with us. It was great! Yet, Billy did not like when other drummers would come over and play. He would get quiet and refuse to play in front of our guests. Eventually, my roommate and I confronted him about it, “Why won’t you play when people come over?” Billy responded, “You’re just trying to find some to replace me! You don’t think I’m good enough to play with y’all!” My roommate and I were dumbfounded. Neither of us had any intention of replacing him, We simply enjoyed playing music with other musicians. Yet, due to Billy’s insecurities about his own playing, he was convinced we were out to get him.

Saul suffered from this same paranoia. He lacked confidence in his own performance and believed David was out to get him. One way this manifested was seeing the enemy all around him. Even his most trusted officials became objects of suspicion. Even during his resting hours, he clutched his spear. Yet, David proves him wrong by refusing to kill him as he relieves himself in a cave. “See. If I wanted to kill you, you’d already be dead.” Is a paraphrase of how David responds to Saul once he cuts his robe. Once Saul realizes the false basis for his paranoia, he is repentant.

Paranoia will rot our peace and destroy our security. That’s because paranoia is the brother to fear and the enemy of faith. Let us not lean on our own understanding, but trust God is his appointment for us. When our faith is put into our own flesh and abilities, we will disappoint ourselves every time – leaving room for insecurity to creep in. Thankfully, our God lives within us. We are not qualified in ourselves, but His spirit makes us so. So, let us trust in God and uncluth our spear of paranoia.