Remember the “feels”attached to the early days of becoming a follower of Jesus? It was a radical reaction for me! I burned all my bad CDs, stopped sinning (for the most part), and quit hanging out with my sinner friends. I dove into the Bible and prayer. Not too long after, my passion for God turned into a perfectionism that wreaked havoc on my soul.

I can remember setting a timer for prayer and condemning myself when I didn’t have enough to talk about with God for the allotted window. If I missed a day of Bible reading, I’d better look out for the looming thunderstorms, lightning was sure to strike me. I had quickly convinced myself the things I was doing defined the Christian I thought I was becoming.

Saul finds himself trapped in the same twisted mentality. The Lord had just asked him to perform a specific task, and instead of listening to God’s voice, he started doing things he thought would please God even more. The result? God regretted making Saul king, and Samuel clarified the deception in 1 Samuel 15:22-23, “But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams. Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness is as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the Lord, he has rejected you as king.”

Saul decided he wouldn’t do exactly as God said, but modify it just enough to make it better than what God said. This isn’t just a slippery slope, it’s a dangerous decline into subconsciously becoming your own god at the expense of total obedience and submission.

Me setting a timer for prayer at its deepest level wasn’t an attempt to please God, but manipulation of my flesh to please itself. Saul deciding to keep plundering people for a greater plan than God’s initial request isn’t him trying to please God, but to spiritualize a deeper issue of idolizing himself.

God doesn’t need our task lists or our ideas that seem better than His,for His glory and honor, of course!He simply desires our obedience and submission to His voice. The most beautiful part? In obedience and submission, there’s no pressure to perform. We just belong.