Growing With By Kara Powell And Steven ArgueSample

Day Four

Giving Our Best Time

Scripture: Galatians 6:2

One common Growing With habit in the moms and dads we interviewed for our book was prioritizing time for conversations. In fact, time talking was ranked as the best way for parents to connect with their kids.

Until each of my (Kara’s) kids turned sixteen, one of my parenting strategies was to maximize my conversation time in the car with them, especially when I only had one kid along for the drive. When each of my kids received their driver’s licenses, I had to find new ways to pursue conversation. Although I used to have my kids make their own breakfasts before school, I began making breakfast for them just so we could grab a few minutes together before they started their day. 

I also came to prioritize weekend time with my kids. Usually on Thursday or Friday, I looked at our weekend schedule with an eye for possible one-on-one hangout and conversational time with my kids—whether it was having a Saturday lunch together, grabbing a coffee after church, or watching a game together on TV. 

Your conversation habits can grow with your family as your kids transition into new life stages. One family with daughters in high school valued Sunday night dinners at their favorite local Chinese restaurant. As each girl has moved out during college, the family still carves out time together every Sunday night, but now they connect over video instead of egg rolls.

One Texas dad told us, “As much as we would all love to sit down at dinner every night, my wife and three kids are too busy for that. So I have three dinners: one with my wife, one with my two elementary-aged kids, and one later when my teenager gets home. It’s not about the eating. It’s more about trying to find that time together when we are in the same space at the same time.” 

There is no one-size-fits-all list of conversation habits. Each family needs to find their own best routines to share burdens, stories, and dreams with each other through conversation. That might mean using technology instead of face-to-face discussions. Being “together” in particular seasons may be less about all being in the same place and more about giving our best time. 

Where and when do you have the best conversations with your kids? How could you maximize that time or make it more of a habit? How could better conversations in your family help you carry your child’s burdens, as Paul describes in Galatians 6:2?