Growing With By Kara Powell And Steven ArgueSample

Day Two

A New Generation Gap

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1

As scholars, pastors, and parents of young people, we believe that today’s generation gap is wider than it used to be. What we’ve seen in our research and around our own kitchen tables is that the young people of today feel like a new breed. Sixth and seventh graders have just put away the stuffed animals of their childhood, but their journey toward adulthood has already started. Teenagers today are facing life choices that many of us didn’t experience until our midtwenties. Fourteen is the new twenty-four.

While our kids’ journey toward adolescence has accelerated, the inverse is also true. For the typical twenty-something in the United States, the process of becoming an adult has slowed down. Way down. The median age for first marriage is now five years later than fifty years ago. Given the uncertainties of today’s economic climate, more of our young adult kids are pursuing more higher education.

Take Jordan, a smart, put-together twenty-five-year-old at my (Steve’s) church. Jordan is single, sets his own schedule, has good friends, and is trying to live in an urban center with other peers. From the outside, Jordan’s life seems charmed. But actually he just lost his job, which made him realize that he does not love his career trajectory. The amount of debt he accrued to get his degree leaves him overwhelmed with school loan payments. The competitive job market leaves him few options beyond an hour-long commute, inadequate pay, and slim benefits. 

Most adults tell Jordan to “move” or “just get another job,” but he has worked to develop a meaningful friend group, wants to grow his relationship with his girlfriend, and attends a church he cares about. Like many of his peers, Jordan feels behind in his life goals and sees little hope of catching up. 

Growing With parenting helps us journey with our kids, not judge them, even when our middle schoolers seem to be moving too fast toward adulthood or our twenty-eight-year-olds sometimes seem like teenagers. When we see ourselves as travelers on a journey of maturity with our kids, we can offer them the respect, sensitivity, and guidance they need to grow up.

In what ways does your child seem younger than his or her age? In what ways does he or she seem older? How do you think our culture is influencing those two realities? In thinking about Ecclesiastes 3:1, what do your answers mean for this “season” of your parenting?