Growing With By Kara Powell And Steven ArgueSample

Day Three

Live-Cam Parenting

Scripture: Isaiah 55:8-9

When we look at snapshots of our families, we might forget that they never tell the whole story—like how we’d had a fight in the car that morning or how exhausted we were during the toddler years.

Not only are we tempted to forget certain past family seasons, we also are tempted to try to preselect ideal future snapshots for our kids: “When Trey gets his driver’s license . . .” “When Jasmine goes to college . . .” “When Zach comes home this summer . . .” These future aspirations can be just as unrealistic as the snapshots remembered from the past.

Growing alongside our kids requires holding our future snapshots loosely, because our dreams may not end up being theirs. You want your son to get his driver’s license, but he isn’t interested. Instead of going to college, your daughter chooses to take a gap year. You love his girlfriend and envision wedding bells, but they announce they’re going to live together first. You’re encouraged by his steps toward independence, but then he gets arrested for drug possession and needs rehab. 

In contrast to snapshots, let’s consider live cameras as a better parenting metaphor. The live cam metaphor reminds us that since our kids’ lives are in motion, what we see in them is constantly changing. Growing With parenting isn’t about preserving the past or predicting the future as much as it is about cultivating our relationships with our kids where they are today—in real time.

Fostering a live cam parenting mentality means we perpetually ask questions such as: What do we see in our kids these days? What do our kids need from us in our relationship with them right now? Who do I need to be as a parent this week? How are our kids’ lives and relationships with God changing these days, and equally important, how are ours changing? 

When we start with these questions, we recognize that our parenting must be in motion as well as we grow and learn along with our children.

Jesus, I want to be open to the unique way you have created [your child or young adult]. Your thoughts and ways truly are higher than mine yet help me to see what you are doing in [name’s] life so that I can encourage and foster that rather than let my own expectations interfere. Amen.