Day 8: Learning to Trust Again

Probably one of the most long-lasting effects of the infidelity that impacted my life was the inability to trust people in general. I thought if my spouse, who showed me so much love, could also lie and cheat, if women I knew and interacted with could have an affair with my spouse, and if friends could keep quiet and not tell me the truth they knew but that I was unaware of, why should I ever trust anyone else ever again?

“It isn't God's will for you to never trust again." My therapist's words shocked me. How dare she suggest I should trust women once more and that it was God's will for me to do that!

This is a difficult switch to turn on. It starts with the desire to trust again, a prayer God will answer: "Lord, I want to trust again. Please help me to get there.”

Applications:

• Stay in the Word and prayer. There is life you haven't yet had the joy of experiencing. The Word gives us hope and builds our faith. Prayer keeps us communicating with God, helps us discern, and allows the Lord to step up to the plate for us. God has a plan for you that includes new people who will be faithful and trustworthy.
• Stay in Christian community. We can choose many options that lead to devastating effects and may worsen the situation. When we stay in Christian community, we make ourselves available to hear from God even if we don't say much in those circles because the pain is so heavy and constant.
• Keep looking up. The enemy would have us think that the infidelity we experienced is the truest thing about us, but it isn't. The most authentic thing about us is that we are chosen by God, holy and beloved, and He wants to make this truth clear to us.
• Be teachable. The applications and steps outlined in this plan come from my experience. They are not an exhaustive list of how God works. Be open to Him doing something different in your life. Be attentive to the ways He speaks to you. And as you stay in communication with God, be ready if He wants to speak to you in a new way you've not yet experienced.

On the day when we get to choose to trust again, whether romantically or in other relationships, the same Holy Spirit who has walked us through this most painful time in our lives will be right there with us, giving us discernment. And on that day, we will find ourselves at another crossroads.

Here, we can either put our faith in God into action and walk this new road with new friends, or we can hold on to what happened in the past and deny our loving Father the chance to do something new in our lives. As stated from Day One of this plan, a choice lies before us every step of this journey.

Our God specializes in bringing good for His people out of the terrible things that happen to us. Marital infidelity is not bigger than our God. When we do our part in desiring to forgive, not allowing a root of bitterness to grow inside of us, and surrendering to His will for our lives, He will come through so that anyone who needs to can find freedom even after experiencing marital infidelity.

If you've enjoyed this devotional and would like more from Debbie Mendoza, go to www.debbiemendoza.com to view and subscribe to her blog. There you can also access plan workbooks and study guides. Also, follow her on the YouVersion Bible App to get notifications when new plans are available.