Jesus Knew Betrayal

As a teenager growing up in church, I questioned Jesus about His ability to understand the temptations kids go through. I didn't grasp His intimate knowledge of everything human, that is, until the moment years later when I tried to make some sense of the pain inflicted on me by the new knowledge of the scale of the infidelity that my spouse had brought to our doorstep and into our home.

Tormented with questions and pain, I cried out to God. The Holy Spirit spoke quietly into my heart, "Jesus was betrayed with a kiss, just like you were."

Grabbing my Bible and reading the story of the betrayal of Jesus, I knew then that He understood my pain. Judas' kiss covered up lies and deceit, conversations in which Jesus' Name was lightly esteemed, and in which plans were made for His destruction, even His death.

Jesus is our High Priest, who knows what it's like to feel what we feel. One of the first questions we ask in our humanness is, "How can I pray to a God about this? Does He know this desperation? The huge hole in my innermost being, my gut, that makes me feel incapacitated?"

The answer is yes. Jesus was betrayed by one in His innermost circle, and that with a kiss. That kiss led to his publicly humiliating death, from which He cried, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

When I approached the throne of grace in those dark moments after I received the text messages with the photos incriminating my spouse, the Lord reminded me that He was familiar with this kind of pain. I was not praying to a god made of wood or stone but to One who had experienced betrayal Himself, a betrayal that started in the heart, manifested through a kiss, and ultimately led to His death.

Applications:

• Read the story of Judas' betrayal of Jesus. Just like Judas' betrayal and Jesus' death did not come as a surprise to God, neither did the infidelity that you have experienced come as unexpected news to the Father. Jesus chose him to be a disciple even though He knew this was the one who would ultimately betray Him.
• Prayerfully decide what your next steps will be. Despite all your prayers for your spouse and your marriage, we all have free will, and your spouse used that free will to make the decisions and choices they did. With your free will, you can now choose your direction.