Introduction

A few years after walking through a crisis of infidelity in our marriage, I found out that my (then) husband had continued to have other affairs. At this point, I had been a Christian for some time. I attended church regularly, practiced daily devotions, and prayed hard for my spouse and marriage. Despite all that, infidelity had come back to my door.

Infidelity in our marriages is not something we prepare for. God designed the marriage relationship to be a safe place. But many of us find ourselves facing infidelity, a gut punch like none we've ever experienced. When faced with this possibly debilitating reality in our own lives, we can respond in many different ways. We get to decide what our response will be.

I chose to hold on to the Lord's hand tightly in the depths of the pain, searching for tools to help me thrive, not just survive. I kept going to church because I thought, where else could I go?

I heard a sermon on Paul and Silas praying and singing hymns at midnight in their jail cell. I started doing that when the pain woke me up from sleep roughly. I prayed and worshipped when thoughts of the future kept me awake.

The song of my heart became, "Lord, I need You, oh I need You. Every hour, I need You." I whispered the lyrics of Matt Maher at all hours of the day, declaring my need for God in pain and confusion.

Slowly, deliberately, the Lord has brought me freedom from what had the potential to take me out. He has repeatedly shown me how He sees me as His beloved daughter. He has brought new people I could only have met because I walked through that season. He has healed my heart and continues to help me forgive what at first felt unforgivable. He has reduced the impact of the harsh memories.

He is a good God who wants to do the same for you, which is why I want to share some of the ways we can gain freedom after experiencing marital infidelity. This plan aims to help you move on healthily, whether or not you choose to stay with your spouse.

It lays out some steps to take if you decide not to let this experience define you. These tools include embracing perspective shifts and allowing the Bible, Jesus' words, and the Holy Spirit to help you forgive, grow, and find freedom.