Rebuilding A Marriage Better Than NewÀpẹrẹ

My husband, Chris, and I have logged many hours on porches. Our porch experiences matter to us. It isn’t so much about the porch but about having a safe, comfortable place to be together as a couple to talk up a storm or sit in silence. It doesn’t matter what we do as long as we are connecting, because finding your porch is about connecting with each other as a couple. So, what’s your porch?

We have some tools that have helped us tremendously in strengthening our marriage. These ideas might at first appear simple, but as you incorporate them into your marriage you will realize how valuable they are.

Pray together. Don’t be intimidated by this. Praying is such an intimate thing to do which is why many Christian couples don’t do it. The difference prayer has made in our spiritual lives and in our marriage can’t be calculated. Begin today. Even if it’s a simple, one-minute prayer. Just pray.

Talk about everything and talk about nothing. Sometimes in marriages it seems that only the heavy topics are discussed. No wonder we want to avoid conversation with our spouse. Sometimes talking about nothing is therapeutic. So, we talk about the serious stuff, but we also talk about the weather or how we can keep our Yorkie from peeing on the carpet or how much we like our pool vacuum. Just talk.

Commit to doing shared activities. You and your spouse are probably very different. That’s why it’s important to find something to do together that you both enjoy. Maybe it’s traveling, working in the yard, or binging on Netflix. Whatever it is, finding shared activities will prove to be beneficial for your marriage. Find something. 

Let your last waking moments together be enjoyable. If fights and hurt feelings are a relational disease, you are most apt to catch them at night. Our relational immune system is weakest in the evenings when we are exhausted from the day. Wait until you are fresh to discuss the heavy. Enjoy the evening.  

We must pursue health in our marriage at all times. Even when it’s challenging. Even when we don’t want to. Even when we feel like giving up. Pray together. Talk to each other. Do things together. And don’t give up.

Food for thought: How often do you and your spouse spend quality time together? How often do you pray together?