Christian Courtship And Dating Àpẹrẹ

The Tinder App Culture

We live in a Tinder app culture where dating over a long period of time or dating multiple people is accepted and expected before actually finding the one. Is this dating style biblically ideal?

The conventional way over the decades has been of joining and unjoining. Are you teaching yourself divorce by dating and breaking up with different people repeatedly? We could forget that question about methods and look at the principle behind that. The main problem with dating and never settling is that you’re starting with a flawed principle by looking for someone who will make you happy. It’s a carousel ride.  “You make me happy, but then I’m not, so I’m going to go.” And when you find someone who you think makes you supremely happy, then you marry them—and now you’re just waiting for when he or she doesn’t. That’s the carousel dating life. It’s not that if you’ve ever dated more than one person you’re broken beyond repair. It could definitely go the other way, where we pressure people to go from interest, to courtship, and immediately to marriage. That could be paralyzing, but don’t keep looking for someone who excites you more. 

There’s discretion and wisdom. In the Tinder and millennial culture, we have privatized too much. Relationships have become private to us in an app. Even though you have godly Christian friends and a Christ-exalting church, and hopefully and prayerfully godly parents or older influences in your life, you may be keeping your dating life separate from them. That violates the wisdom of Proverbs that says, “In many counselors there are good decisions.” So instead of keeping it private on your phone or on some app or having an attitude of “I don’t want to tell anybody,” why aren’t you involving the church, the greater body of believers, in this colossal decision of marriage or potential of marriage? Seek their advice. Know their thoughts and wisdom as they pursue the Lord, so they may be able to see something that you’re blind to. You don’t want to be in a position of dating someone, and all your friends don’t like that person and that person doesn’t go to church, doesn’t believe like you, but now you have an emotional connection and blinders are up. Why wouldn’t you involve God’s people on the front end, and save yourself heartache from the beginning?