Christian Courtship And Dating Àpẹrẹ

Courtship & Dating 

A frequently asked question is, “How would you counsel concerning Christian courtship and dating?” Whether it be a single man pursuing a woman or a single woman dating, I would advise you to never compromise what you believe, in order to have a relationship with a person. That’s one of the first things I would say. You need to measure any relationship you desire by the standards of Scripture. We learn in 1 Corinthians 7 that a believer can marry anyone they want, but only in the Lord. That is the standard--someone who knows Jesus Christ; that you have fellowship with them. What fellowship does Christ have with Satan or does a believer have with an unbeliever? So your standard from the beginning is: I’m not going to be with anyone who doesn’t know Jesus.

Second, you need to understand what’s most important. This is true not only in dating but even in marriage. What is most important in a relationship is being with someone who loves God genuinely, so that they have the capacity to love you. In the same sort of way, you will love them out of your love for God. When my four kids were growing up, I told them “I’m not really praying for someone to love you, although I obviously want them to love you, but I’m praying for you to find someone who loves the Lord genuinely and sincerely; because if they love God, they will love you, as long as they walk faithfully with Christ."

Sometimes I think our young people get caught up on things that are secondary in nature instead of thinking what’s primary in nature: praying and hoping for someone who’s going to love God and can serve the Lord together with them. I’m not ruling out the idea that you find the person you’re going to marry attractive and that you have things in common with them. But it’s amazing how those things change over time anyway. You marry someone that you think is beautiful. Yet there’s no guarantee that our temporal beauty is going to remain. I’m thinking about 1st Peter 3 where a godly woman is taught to win her husband through her godly behavior and to set her attention on the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. So even there, the woman is taught to set her attention on internal and spiritual beauty. Now if she’s to set her attention there, how about the guy who’s going to marry her? Is his attention there? Look for someone who’s beautiful in the Lord, who’s going to love Christ and love you. And don’t be so picky. 

If you would like to find out more about this topic, we invite you to listen to the episode of the Straight Truth Podcast called “Christian Courtship and Dating” on YouTube https://youtu.be/vQby8idaOoM  or Vimeo https://vimeo.com/273575633