[Wisdom of Solomon] Mad at YouНамуна

Use Space and Time

Have you ever wished that you could take words back during a fight? The moment was so heated, and there was so much emotion, that you said something that left a scar on the person you love. We have all been there. Whether it was said out loud or under our breath, the words could never be put back in.

Solomon was in this moment. He wanted to know if there was time for them that night, and she was too tired. She gave him all the reasons why and what did Solomon do? Did he slam the door or yell at her? Did he give all the reasons why it wasn’t fair? None of the above. Solomon put myrrh on the handle. What does it symbolize? Myrrh symbolizes love. He doesn’t beat on the door, keep knocking, or make her open it up. No, he leaves love on the handle. He knows the timing isn’t right. He opens the little window, puts love on the handle, leaves, and goes away.

No conflict ever gets resolved by raising your voice. No one is thankful when they yell at the person they love because it didn’t solve a thing. Solomon tells his wife that he doesn’t want to react in an ungodly way, but he wants to give her some space and use some time to ensure that he shows her that he loves her. Usually, in conflict, our initial response is never a good one. This doesn’t mean you always have to leave the room. But if you know that the words about to come out of your mouth won’t be loving, you might need to use time and space to remind you and your spouse that you love them. This will help to show the other person that you are not trying to win the argument, but are trying to show love, no matter how heated you may be at that moment. This is why the Bible says to be quick to listen and slow to speak, that you may be slow to anger. When you do the opposite, you will almost be guaranteed to say something you don’t mean and lose that person’s trust.

Make sure your words build up and don't tear down. Use them to reaffirm your love instead of using them to show how "right" you are. Use time and space to deal with conflict, but also make sure not to go to bed without dealing with this conflict. The Bible is also clear to not let the sun go down on your anger. Solomon knew that fight wouldn’t be worth it. Make sure to count the cost before you get into your next conflict.