P.I.E.C.E.S: 6 Steps to Healing & Building Confidence After Relationship Heartbreak a 7-Day Plan by Alicia Renee’ RobertsSample

P- Permit Yourself to Grieve

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

"Good Grief!" was a popular saying many decades ago when someone expressed shock or dismay. I always wondered where that expression came from, especially given how society tends to simplify grief. You often find that those grieving are expected to recover quickly, be subdued about it so that it does not disturb the peace of others, and stay strong in public regardless of how they feel. The act of grieving is often considered a weakness or a bad thing, but it is actually good.

Grief is our body's natural reaction to a significant loss in our life. It is strong, at times overwhelming, and can create a cascade of uncontrollable emotions. Suppressing or denying grief is like lighting a firework inside your home and expecting it not to explode; you better get it out because it will cause damage!

Often, women are expected to be the pillar of strength that looks good and keeps it all together in public. They then tend to go home, retreat to secret places, and break down in private. You may hear statements like, "I don't have time to be sad" or "I'm just going to keep it moving." People don't realize the harm done by repeating and believing those statements. Sis, make the time. Take a breather, rest your mind, acknowledge what has happened to you, and allow the emotions to come. It won't be pretty or feel good, but it is a necessary step for healing.

In Matthew 11, verses 28-30, the Lord is giving you permission to come to Him and lay down all your burdens and anything that is exhausting you. He confirms that we need rest. No matter how long you've been in pain or how many times you've experienced heartbreak, know that you are not meant to suffer through it alone. Give it to God. Be honest with yourself and your emotions. What happened to you hurt. Let go of guilt and shame and cry out to the Lord. It is okay. Permit yourself to grieve.

Reflection:

Take time to truly mourn your loss. You may have lost companionship, dreams, a former way of living, and more. Pray and ask God for complete healing and restoration for each item lost.

Journal your feelings and thoughts at each stage of grief. (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance)