Hindsight Sample

There’s no telling how many opportunities I missed over the years to encourage people and to celebrate their contributions to our church and the kingdom of God. I started really late, and it’s a steep learning curve, but I’m making progress. As they say, “Better late than never.”

1. Be intentional. 

I’m learning to notice what people do well and to speak words of gratitude that let them know I appreciate them. I’ve discovered it’s really not that hard, and it makes a difference. When I say, “Hey, what you did really made a difference in those people’s lives,” I see their eyes light up. 

2. Become a Geiger counter of value. 

When I’m around people who are having a positive impact on others, my internal “Geiger counter” needs to be activated so that it alerts me. For years, I measured value by only two metrics: money in the plate and posteriors in the pews. Now I’m learning to see value in the intangibles: kindness, tenacity, faithfulness, and love. When I notice these positive traits, I speak up to name and nurture them.

3. Know your people’s buttons. 

Identify their love languages. Some people feel affirmed when we talk about their character, others about their achievement, and still others about their commitment to a cause. Some are motivated by public applause; others prefer private acknowledgement. A good leader gives similar affirmation to everybody, but a great leader recognizes the specific encouragement that hits the motivational target in each person—staff member, spouse, kids, friends, and everybody in their inner circle of relationships. This commitment requires us to acknowledge how we’re different from those around us. My leadership love language is numbers—if our congregation grows, I feel loved; if it shrinks, I feel like a colossal failure. But almost nobody is like me. Their love language might be a hug, kind words, a small gift, or time together. 

4. Ask and listen. 

Don’t assume you know how to celebrate people in the most meaningful ways to them. Ask what will make them feel honored, listen, and change your plans to suit their wants. 

5. Give thanks. 

Expressing gratitude is the easiest and most effective way to celebrate the people around us. If this isn’t natural for you, spend time thinking of all the people who’ve contributed to where you are now, and realize that you have the God-given opportunity to contribute to the present and future of every person on your team. In Leadership Is an Art, Max DePree observes, “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader must become a servant and a debtor.” A debtor? Yes— we’re indebted to the people who have forsaken comfort, wealth, and status to follow Jesus and to join us in building His church. They deserve our thanks.