Hindsight Sample

God has worked in wonderful ways through me, and I give Him all the credit. But when I look back on my relationships with people on our staff teams, I’m heartbroken that I hurt so many so deeply. God is changing me, and all God’s children are glad.

1. Pay attention when people say you’ve hurt them. 

A few years ago, I was talking about country people, and I used the term “redneck.” To me, this word referred to a southerner who works with his hands; but a black man told me that, in his world, the word is closely associated with white supremacists. 

I’ve learned two things: I need to be much more aware of how terms that were normal 20 years ago sound today; and for some people, an apology isn’t good enough.

2. Ask for feedback. 

Don’t make the assumption that you aren’t offending people. Have the courage to ask for honest observations, and the humility to listen without becoming defensive.

3. Be intentional about the purpose of every message. 

I had to dig deep into my heart and ask myself, Am I using my sermon to entertain people or to build the kingdom of God? Am I more interested in their laughter than their repentance? How will I measure success on Monday: by the number of pats on the back or the number of tears of confession and joy? I realized that I was often getting sidetracked by my own wit. Once I started down that path, it was very hard to come back. I needed to focus on God’s Word and God’s heart in my preparation, prayers, and presentation, in order to avoid rabbit trails that were counterproductive to God’s purposes.

4. Value people. 

Love is more important than laughter. Our motives can get so clouded that we lose sight of what’s truly important. Jesus said the world will know we’re His disciples by our love for each other; and love means changing our agendas to match His—not replacing His with ours.