Marriage MattersIhe Atụ

The Law of Entropy

All marriages take work! I graduated from college with a degree in Petroleum Engineering. In order to get an engineering degree, all engineers had to go through “core classes”. One of these classes was called Thermodynamics. Crazy as it seems, but I will be forever changed by learning and applying the “Law of Entropy” to my marriage. Simply stated, the law of entropy, the second law of thermodynamics, says that “in all energy exchange, if no energy enters or leaves the system, the potential energy of the state will be less than that of the initial state.” Let me explain in English. The Law of Entropy tells us that, by nature, disorder always increases. It tells us that anything and everything that God or man has ever made will always move from order to disorder. Order is always followed by disorder without any outside input.

So now let’s extrapolate that thought into our marriages. From the minute we say, “I do. Yes. Absolutely. For sure. Till death do us part”, our marriages start heading towards “disorder.” That could lead to hopelessness or to wisdom. Once we learn that our laws of nature cannot be changed, we can adapt to their truth. Such as, even if I don’t BELIEVE in the law of gravity, whenever I let go of the apple in my hand it will still fall to the ground. The law is not dependent on my belief in it. The law of entropy simply told me, in layman’s terms, that I had to work on my marriage or expect it to go south. Once I realized the absolute truth of this and compared it to the marriage statistics at hand, we decided to work on our marriage after we left the alter and walked down the aisle. Before our wedding day, we discussed the WORK of being married. We agreed to WORK on it while it was good so that we didn’t have to WORK on it while it was bad. We all put in the WORK either way! This was an intentional choice for the rest of my life. It was an investment in my future happiness and the health of our future family.

Besides the daily choice to work on love, we added an annual retreat of sorts to make sure that our marriage was in a good place. After 35 years of marriage, I don’t wonder why we have a healthy, loving marriage. We have been working on it for 35 years.

On our annual retreat here are a few thoughts/questions we consider:

1.  What was the best and the worst events in our marriage that year?

2.  What can I do to be a better spouse to you? 

3.  How can I show you more love?

4.  What do I do that you love? Or dislike?

5.  What are some new dreams/goals for us? 

6.  Etc…

Remember that your marriage takes the investment of work, work, and more work. If you are behind in this investment, be sure, and start today.

Ponder:

How can you start or continue to work on your developing and deepening marriage? What are some things you can do to make time to invest in this lifelong commitment?

Prayer:

Lord, I will never make it “until death do us part” without Your inspired help. Lead, direct, and guide us as we work to make honoring You the priority of our marriage.