ON TOP: YOUR GUIDE TO HOLISTIC SEXUALITYSample

The Heart 

Intimacy is feeling emotional closeness with another person. This happens when you’re vulnerable and share personal things such as your dreams, your fears, and your feelings.

Healthy intimacy has boundaries and allows you to be your true self with another person. There is an element of emotional risk-taking when you're close or intimate with someone, so it's important to consider who you are sharing yourself with both physically and emotionally. 

God created us for companionship, we need love and affection to exist fully. Where this gets complicated is that our world tells us that sex is love. And while sex can express love and add to the intimacy of a couple (in marriage) sex is not love.

Guard your heart

Your heart is very valuable and directs you in life, so it's important to protect it. Think about who you are being emotionally intimate with and whether they are trustworthy of your intimate thoughts and feelings. 

Create space for shame-free conversations

There can be a lot of shame around sex because there is a lot of misunderstanding and a lack of education about sex. If we don't talk about something it brings shame because we feel like we have to hide parts of ourselves when it's a normal part of sexual development.

So it’s important to have more open conversations without judgment. It will not only break the shame but encourage healthy conversations where you can find quality information and facts. People often think that talking about sex is encouraging sex when in actuality education on a topic empowers people to make healthy choices.

Sexual shame causes feelings of disgust towards your body and identity. If internalized, this can affect what you believe about your worth and value. Shame can come from unwanted touch, past mistakes, or maybe just feeling like sex is dirty. 

The truth is, you are not your sexual choices or your sexual mistakes or things that have happened to you. Your true value is in who God thinks and says you are!

Reflect: 

• Reflecting on the relationships/friendships you have, list ways that healthy intimacy is expressed.
• In what ways do you guard your heart?
• Does anything about sex distress you or make you feel ashamed?