Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Your Marriageনমুনা

Are you too critical?

I certainly can be.

What’s crazy to me about being overly critical is the fact that it has nothing to do with the actions of others or the circumstances surrounding us, but simply how we think about them.

An overly critical person has looked for the negative - or simply acknowledged the negative - for so long that it has become the first thing they recognize in themselves and others. It doesn’t simply mean that you are constantly thinking negatively about your spouse. An overly critical person criticizes and beats up on themselves as well. Neither of which are fruitful.

If we want to enjoy our relationships with our spouse and others, and if we want others to enjoy their relationship with us, we have to evaluate our spirit, identify if we are living in a state of negativity, and decide to reframe how we see things. We need to take a sincere look at the state of our own heart and invite God’s conviction to search our heart. We see this modeled with the prayer in Psalm 139: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

God tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. We can do that when it comes to our critical spirit. Once we have taken captive our thoughts, we will see that our words follow suit. Then the outpouring of our heart will no longer be constant complaining, griping and criticizing, but rather life-giving encouragement and productive communication.

If we want to love one another well, the first thing we have to do is to make an honest assessment of what is in our heart and acknowledge our critical spirit.

Prayer:

Lord, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of negativity. Today, please reveal the spaces in my spirit that are overly critical and harmful to my relationship with you, with myself and with my spouse. God, would you create in me a new heart that is overflowing with thankfulness, gratitude, and grace so that I may love others the way you so gently love me.