Thola i AppUkulungiselela UmshadoIsampula
“Zithobeni Omunye Komunye”
Isimo Sengqondo Sokuphakama: Uma umuntu oyedwa ebudlelwaneni eba umashiqela (noma umphathi), ubudlelwano buyophokophela ekubhujisweni. Uma nje uzizwa uphakeme kunomlingani wakho, ngeke nixazulule izinkinga ndawonye. Umngani womshado ongumashiqela angaba nendelelo futhi abe nokhahlo ngoba engaboni omunye njengolingana naye. Umshado onempilo udinga ukuthi nizinikele ekusebenzelaneni. Iseluleko sikaPawulu sobudlelwane kwabase-Efesu 5:21 sikufingqa kahle lokhu: “Zithobeni omunye komunye ngenxa yokwesaba uKristu.” Emshadweni okhulayo ayikho indawo yokuphakama, kodwa kuhlale kunendawo yokuthobeka ngokomzwelo (noma lokho uTim Keller akubiza ngokuthi ingcebo engokomzwelo, okuyinjabulo yangaphakathi nokuzethemba ngokuyisisekelo). Ukuze ugcine isimo sengqondo sokuziphakamisa singabi isithiyo emshadweni wakho, sikukhuthaza ukuba ufunde ukuhamba ngokuthobeka noNkulunkulu kanye nomlingani wakho. Uyokuthola kulula kakhulu ukukhonza owakwakho lapho uqaphela ukuthi uNkulunkulu nguye ophakeme—hhayi wena.
Indlela Yokuhlasela: Enye indlela yokungazithoba kumlingani wakho womshado, ukungena kumodi yokuhlasela. Ayikho into ezobhebhethekisa ukungqubuzana njengokuhlasela isithandwa sakho. Ukuhlasela kubonakala ngezindlela zokusola, ukuhlazisa, ukuklabalasa, ukuveza okwenzeka esikhathini esidlule—konke lokhu kuyovusa ukuzivikela, ukwesaba ukungavunyelwa, nemizwa yokulahlwa. Isikhathi lapho ukuhlasela kuqala khona isikhathi lapho ukuxhumana okunempilo kuma khona. Njengoba uya emshadweni, kubalulekile ukufunda ukuthi ezinye izenzo azisebenzi—lesi esinye sazo. Uzosangana emshadweni. Siyathembisa ukuthi kuzokwenzeka… mhlawumbe izikhathi eziningi phakathi nenkathi yempilo yenu ndawonye. Angase afane nomama wakhe noma angase akuphathe ngendlela uyise aphatha ngayo unina—kokubili ngezindlela ezingezinhle—kodwa lawo maqiniso awasoze aphulukiswa noma abuyisane uma umemeza noma ungene esimweni sokuhlasela.
* Ingabe uke waba necala lesimo sengqondo sokuphakama noma imodi yokuhlasela kuze kube manje ebudlelwaneni bakho? Ingabe isoka lakho likubizile ngalokho? Yiziphi izivikelo ozifakile ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi akuphindi kwenzeke?
Mayelana naloluHlelo
Kuthathwe encwadini yabo ethi "Getting Ready for Marriage," joyina ochwepheshe bezobudlelwano uJim Burns noDoug Fields njengoba bekusiza ukuthi uqale manje ukuhlelela ubudlelwane ubuhlala njalo. Ezezimali, abasekhweni, ukuxhumana, ukuxolelana, okulindelekile ocansini, asikho isihloko esinqunyelwe njengoba wena nomngani wakho womshado nilungiselela ukusuka ekuthembiseni ningene esivumelwaneni sempilo yonke komunye nomunye.
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