Thola i AppUkulungiselela UmshadoIsampula
“Ukukhuluma: Indlela Eshesha Kakhulu Yokuxhumanisa”
Incwadi yezAga inezeluleko eziningi eziphathelene nobudlelwano uma kuziwa emandleni amazwi, futhi kungaba ukuhlakanipha ukuzicabangela. Elinye ivesi lithi, “Ulimi lunamandla okuphila nokufa.” Imishado eminingi iye yasindiswa futhi yaqiniswa ngomusa nangesiqinisekiso, futhi eminingi iye yaphahlazeka futhi yasha ngenxa yamazwi anomoya omubi nentukuthelo. Ukuhlakanipha kuthi, “Labo abaqapha imilomo yabo nolimi lwabo bazigcina enhlekeleleni.” ( IzAga 21:23) Ngakho-ke, amazwi ahlakaniphile abonisa ukuthi “abalinda imilomo yabo nolimi lwabo bayakugwema okubi.” Eminye imishado ithatha lesi sixwayiso “sokugada” ngokwedlulele esibi futhi ivele iyeke ukukhuluma. Lokho akuyona neze impendulo yomshado wakho. Impendulo engcono ukuthi ungasho konke okucabangayo. Uma amazwi ezolimaza owakwakho, ungawasebenzisi. Gcina umlomo wakho uvaliwe futhi uhlakaniphe.
Ukuze wakhe umshado onempilo, kuyodingeka ufunde ukusebenzisa amazwi akho engxoxweni ejulile, ukwabelana ngemizwa, ukuveza izidingo, ukwazisa oshade naye, nokuletha injabulo. Amazwi anamandla! Isihluthulelo samagama anamandla akhulunywayo siwukufunda lokho okufanele ukusho, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi yini ongafanele ukusho—okuvame ukuba nzima nakakhulu.
Muva nje sibuze abashadikazi abakhulile, abajabulayo engqungqutheleni yethu ethi Ukuvuselela Umshado Wakho, “Iyini imfihlo yokuphila kwakho isikhathi eside nempumelelo emshadweni?” Umyeni wabuka umkakhe wayesethi, “Igama elilodwa: isisefo.” Safuna incazelo eyengeziwe, futhi okwalandela kwakunamandla. Wathi ekuqaleni komshado wabo kwakudingeka ahlunge amazwi akhe. “Kwesinye isikhathi bengivele ngizilume ulimi ngingayikhulumi into engiyicabangayo. Kwadingeka ngifunde ukuthi amazwi anomusa ayakha futhi ahlabayo ayamdiliza umkami. Kwadingeka ngihlunge amazwi ami futhi ngingasho konke engangikucabanga ngaphandle uma kungamazwi ayehloselwe ukwakha. Ngicabanga ukuthi lokho kube imfihlo enkulu yokuphila kwethu isikhathi eside nempumelelo yethu.”
* Kunjani ukuxhumana kwakho nesithandwa sakho? Bheka amazwi akho kuleli sonto eledlule, mangaki amakhile, futhi mangaki amudilizile? Ungakwenza kanjani kangcono ukuxhumana kwakho esikhathini esizayo?
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Kuthathwe encwadini yabo ethi "Getting Ready for Marriage," joyina ochwepheshe bezobudlelwano uJim Burns noDoug Fields njengoba bekusiza ukuthi uqale manje ukuhlelela ubudlelwane ubuhlala njalo. Ezezimali, abasekhweni, ukuxhumana, ukuxolelana, okulindelekile ocansini, asikho isihloko esinqunyelwe njengoba wena nomngani wakho womshado nilungiselela ukusuka ekuthembiseni ningene esivumelwaneni sempilo yonke komunye nomunye.
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