The Appeal of Appreciation: A 3-Day Marriage PlanÀpẹrẹ

Side By Side

Encourage one another daily.

Hebrews 3:13

The Greek translation for the word encouragement is parakletos, which literally means “called alongside to help.” It brings to mind the scriptural image of two people yoked side by side, as when Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. . . . For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:29–30). This kind of encouragement includes offering an uplifting word, but it is more than that. It is standing by your husband and keeping an attitude of good cheer when he is laid off from his job. It is pitching in to finish the dishes when your wife is too tired to stand. It’s crouching down to a four‐year‐old’s eye level and listening sympathetically as she tearfully tells you about her skinned knee.

The act of encouraging doesn’t include instructing your partner on what to do about a problem. It doesn’t include giving advice, offering tips for improving in the future, or uttering hollow words such as “You really should have known better than to make that foolish mistake” or “Get over it.” Instead, encouragement is a participation game. When you stand alongside your mate and share his or her troubles, you’ve become a practitioner of parakletos and an exceptional source of courage, hope, and happiness.

Just between us . . .

• Do you know anyone who always makes you feel good about yourself?

• How do they do it? Why is it often so difficult to think about the other person first?

• How has God used me to “come alongside” you?

• How can I do better?

Lord Jesus, thank You that You put it within our power to encourage others. May we grow in that ministry. May we become experts at it—starting in our marriage. Amen.

Excerpted from Night Light for Couples, used with permission.

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. (Prov. 25:11, ESV)

I . . . urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love . . .(Eph. 4:1-2, ESV)

“Who Needs Encouragement Today?” (This article, excerpted from Dr. Dobson’s 7 Solutions for Burned Out Parents, is available on our website.)