Please Sorry ThanksÀpẹrẹ

THE WORD THAT MOVES MOUNTAINS

The writer of Lamentations said that God’s mercies are “new every morning” (Lamentations 3:23). The Hebrew word for “new” is hadas. It doesn’t just mean “new” as in “again and again,” which would be amazing in and of itself. It means “new” as in “different.” It means “never experienced before.” Today’s mercy is different from yesterday’s mercy! Like snowflakes, God’s mercy never crystallizes the same way twice. Every act of mercy is unique.

Grace is also unique to each circumstance, but it’s distinct from mercy. Mercy is not getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.

Here’s another important distinction: We confess our sins to God for forgiveness. We confess our sins to each other for healing. As James wrote, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).

An apology will be effective only if you mean it. You have to check your motives. Does your confession have more to do with relieving your guilt than restoring the relationship? Or do you have the other person’s best interests at heart?

Speaking from experience, an insincere apology compounds the fracture. That said, a sincere sorry can move mountains of pain, shame, and regret. It can roll away forty years of reproach (see Joshua 5:9). It can restore what the locusts have eaten (see Joel 2:25).

Reconciliation is a two-way street. You can’t control the other person, so you can’t control the outcome. Please don’t try to bear that burden! All you can control is you, and that’s hard enough. I’m not sure which is more difficult: forgiving or apol­ogizing. But here’s my advice: Make the first move. Take the first step. Offer the first olive branch.

I’m not sug­gesting that you compromise your biblical convictions. We need to speak the truth in love, without apology. That said, it’s not your job to judge others. We often try to build ourselves up by putting others down. That’s when and where we need to say sorry!

These days, everybody is blaming everybody else for almost everything. It’s time to interrupt the pattern and try a different tactic. There is no magic bullet, but there is a magic word. Sorry is always a good place to start.

Lord, who do I need to apologize to? Give me the courage and humility to apologize with authenticity and love. Amen.