Prepare to Date Well

If you want a dating relationship that one day leads to a loving, Christ-centered marriage, your single season is an excellent time to prepare. This doesn’t mean the first person you date after your season of singleness will be “the one.” (Though, of course, we’re all rooting for them to be!) However, when you know what a Christ-centered marriage looks like, you can pursue it even in dating relationships.

Dating should definitely be an enjoyable time of getting to know someone, having fun, and seeing if there’s a spark that can lead to more. But unfortunately, it is commonly a time of hurt, misunderstanding, and heartbreak. Why? Because people aren’t prepared to treat their dating relationship with the care, consideration, and respect it deserves. Rather than taking dating too seriously, most people don’t take it seriously enough, and people end up hurt and heartbroken.

The good news? You can prepare yourself to date well by understanding the Biblical purpose of relationships. You can build your dating relationships on the same foundations of a healthy marriage–respect, selflessness, honor, loyalty, and love. Consider how love is described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It is patient and kind. It isn’t jealous, proud, or selfish. It doesn’t dishonor others or keeprecords of wrongs. It isn’t easily angered and doesn’t delight in evil. Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.

This passage isn’t just referring to how you should treat someone once you’ve fallen in love with them or have decided to marry them. This love is how God calls His people to treat everyone, including the people you date. There is a good chance that you’ll go on many dates with multiple people before you find your forever person. But just because someone isn’t the husband or wife for you doesn’t mean they deserve to be treated differently than another person. If it sounds a little “deep” or “heavy,” that’s because it is–because God intends for us to date well. And your season of singleness is a perfect time to learn more about what that looks like practically. That way, when the time comes for your next relationship, you can approach it in a Christ-like manner that provides a positive experience for both people, even if they aren’t your forever person.

Some of the anxiety and worry you feel in your single season is related to the anticipation of a dating relationship. Who will it be with? What will they be like? Will they be “the one?” Rather than mulling over these questions in your head, you can calm your thoughts and experience peace when you focus on preparing well. Because the thing is, you don’t know who it’s going to be, but you can know how you’re going to approach the relationship regardless. Knowing brings a sense of peace, so focus on what you do know and can control–how you will approach your next relationship.

Practice Pursuing Peace: Take a moment to pray and ask God to show you areas in your dating life that you can improve. Write down three ways to grow in those areas and prepare for your next relationship.