Take Heart, Military Wife: The Journey to a Heart That Reflects God’s CharacterНамуна

The Transformed Heart

I remember the exact moment I knew I needed a new heart. It was day 167 of a 290-day deployment at a brand-new duty station.

I sat on the couch nursing my youngest daughter while my four-year-old and two-year-old played on the floor in front of me. It was early in the day, but I was already tired. It was a tiredness that surpassed my physical body and penetrated my heart and mind.

I was overwhelmed at the sight of the deployment countdown hanging on the wall across the room. It was covered in tiny heart-shaped stickers that little fingers had placed with pride, but there were so many empty spaces left to fill, and I wasn’t sure I had the strength to endure 123 more days like this one.

My racing thoughts were interrupted by the sound of fighting between my older girls. It was a typical fight between sisters, but it was my breaking point.

I was still nursing the baby and couldn’t get up to intervene.

I couldn’t call for another adult in the house to help.

And that’s when everything that had consumed me for the last 167 days poured out of me. I yelled so loud I didn’t recognize the sound of my voice. I had no idea I could feel anger and desperation so powerfully at once.

My girls looked up at me in shock, tears pouring down their cheeks, and began to scurry off to their rooms. It was the first time their sweet little faces had ever looked at me with fear. I instantly broke down in tears, scooped them into my arms, and wondered why God ever thought I was cut out to be a mother.

There, on the floor, I committed to being the best mom I could be. I was going to be a good Mom and make better choices, so I would never find myself here again.

What happened next changed the course of my life forever. The Lord spoke so powerfully at that moment, His grace and love for me heavier than ever before: “Daughter, it’s not about choosing to do good things tomorrow. It’s about becoming like the One who is good.”

Military wife, we cannot transform our own heart. We will exhaust ourselves in pursuit of an endless race if we seek only to change our actions without ever surrendering our heart.

If you desire more joy, patience, and peace as you endure the trials of this military life, the answer is found in knowing the source of everything good.

Take Heart, military wife, Jesus is above all. In Him, all things are found. As we spend time in His word and His presence, He transforms our hearts, and the fruit of His spirit pours out of us. It’s not a work we can do for ourselves, but it is a promise of transformation He will be faithful to keep.