Staying PowerНамуна

Day Two

In It Together

Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:9–12; 1 Corinthians 13:4–13

When Gene and I (Carol) faced the devastating news that our son was in jail for murder, our marriage faced new challenges—to say the least. Our distress over Jason left us short-tempered, and we sometimes allowed little disagreements to escalate into full-blown arguments. Those disagreements often involved money: How would we ever afford the huge retainer for the highly recommended attorney we were considering? Should we empty our retirement accounts? Would we have to sell our home? 

At other times, the awkwardness between us was over intimacy. I (Carol) couldn’t even think of enjoying the pleasure of making love with my husband while my son was in jail awaiting trial. Gene, on the other hand, believed if we ever needed the release and the closeness of physical intimacy, it was now. 

We were both aware that we had a choice to make. Would we allow the stress of our son’s incarceration to tear us apart? Or would we stay together—no matter what—and learn how to let this experience make us not weaker but stronger? 

A couple does not defeat a difficult life crisis by each angrily separating himself or herself from the other and trying to handle the crisis alone, resisting whatever efforts are made by the other. It doesn’t work that way. 

You will not survive a devastating crisis unless you face it together. Unless you have each other’s back. Unless you live out Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 and help each other up when you fall (which you will). Unless you lay down together and keep the other warm. Unless you contribute your own cord to combine with your partner and the Lord to create a threefold cord that will withstand the power of this crisis and all other crises. 

This requires a together-come-what-may, for-better-or-worse, in-sickness-and-in-health, for-richer-for-poorer kind of commitment. It’s the commitment you already made once, and it’s the one you have to recommit to now as the hurricanes of life sweep over your relationship.

When have circumstances caused you and your spouse to be impatient with each other? What has helped you see each other with more compassion during those times?