Single Shouldn't SuckChikamu

Myth #4: My life will finally begin when I meet someone or get married.

Maybe you haven't believed this myth directly, but chances are you've allowed disappointment to derail you from pursuing an adventurous life as a single person because you're hyperfocused on a future desire. I mean, you wouldn't be reading this devo if you weren't in some way discontent with your singleness. Don't get me wrong. Your feelings are valid, but I hope you've gleaned from this study that singleness is not a throw-away season. It's an epic-once-in-a-lifetime-live-your-best-freaking-life adventure. It's an incubator for self-discovery, self-love, and intentional community. It's aloneness with God and focused attention on building authentic faith.

Here's the game-changer question: will you choose to be single by default or by design? If by default, then you'll spend your twenties kicking rocks, stumbling your way through life, making a magical list of things you want in a spouse, and hoping they discover you on TikTok one day. If by design, then you will take life by the horns, explore your dreams, travel the world, serve your community, and all the while intentionally make connections with others who share your common interests.

In Jeremiah 29:11 God says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Imagine if God said this plan would only take effect once we got married? It seems crazy to consider, but sometimes this is how we treat our singleness. I have news for you: getting married doesn't make you more spiritual. It doesn't make you a superhuman or bestow you with blessings you wouldn't experience as a single individual. Your life is purposeful NOW!

What are you doing to live your life as a single person by design? Are you going after your dreams or are you more distracted by wishfully thinking about meeting someone? What if God called you to move to another country for an unknown amount of time? Would you be willing to go or would it ruin your 5-year plan? Are you choosing the life right in front of you or wishing your season away? These are all important questions to ask.

Maybe you've over-glorified marriage and been praying for God to send you a spouse when really He just wants you to enjoy intimacy with Him and learn how to love yourself, your family, and the people around you. Or maybe you've minimized marriage and have been loving your singleness, but been too afraid to pursue authentic connections. Whatever your answer is, I know God wants to bring you back to a centered perspective both on singleness and marriage. Both are good and have unique challenges. But the best thing you could do for your future marriage is ENJOY your singleness as you become more like Christ.

One day, you will look back on these years and wonder if you lived it well. If you did, you will say, "Those were the days." Your life doesn't begin the day you meet someone or get married (though that season, too, will be beautiful). It begins the day you say yes to Jesus and to the adventure right in front of you, God leading the way.

If you enjoyed this devo you'll love the full book, 'Single Shouldn't Suck': let go of finding 'the one' & love the life in front of you.

Share your story with the author and connect online.