Single Shouldn't SuckChikamu

Myth #3: You should only date the person you're going to marry.

Now, this myth might seem a little old-school, but the belief lingers amidst Christian single culture today. Hear me out. By no means am I encouraging reckless dating, careless relationships, or condoning hook-up culture. Rather, what I'd like to bring to your attention is a fear that seems to hover over our social dynamics, inhibiting natural friendships or romantic connections to form. This fear holds us back from engaging with a person of interest because we're not certain it will lead to a serious relationship. Instead of asking the girl to coffee, we sit on the sidelines and wait until the cows jump over a full crescent moon and rainbows pour down skittles as a sign that SHE IS THE ONE!!! Or maybe you're a girl and you've been stalking your crush's Instagram profile until his pictures are permanently burned behind your eyelids.

I get it though. No one wants to act on uncertainty. It's risky knowing you could be rejected or knowing the relationship might not work out. However, to quote the great prophet, Michael Scott, "You miss 100 of the shots you don't take." My man knows what he's talking about. If you think your future spouse is going to miraculously show up at your door one day, I hope you're ready to marry your Uber Eats driver!

In fact, God desires godly and pure action on our part to navigate many areas of our life, including dating. 1 John 3:18 says, "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." Obviously, this verse is not directly addressing how to date, but we can easily apply this verse to any area of our life. God desires us to live a life of love towards all people and we know from 1 John 4:20 there's no fear in perfect love.

If you're hesitant to ask a girl out/get to know a guy, I encourage you to ask God to reveal any fear in your heart. In addition, educate yourself on HOW to date well. We've allowed the world to stake its claim on the dating rules for far too long. It's time the followers of Christ set a new standard for healthy relationships and redefine dating.

Singleness is a season for self-discovery and learning what you want in a partner. We should enjoy this process as we learn how to become better stewards of the heart of another. You might not marry that girl/guy, but if you honor God in the process of dating, you will come out on the other side equipped with more tools to better your future relationships. On the flip side, maybe you're fasting dating out of a conviction—amazing, go for it! There's a time for healthy abstaining and seeking Christ with all your energy. But don't let this myth pressure you to have it all figured out on the first date. Enjoy your singleness, date responsibly, and trust God with the outcome.