Infidelity: Biblical/Practical QuestionsSample

BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE ON MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, AND REMARRIAGE The Holy Scriptures place the highest possible value on the sanctity of marriage. Biblically speaking, it would be fair to say that, next to an individual’s relationship with God, there is nothing in this world more important than the bond between husband and wife. That’s why it’s so important for Christian people as individuals and the Church as a body to do everything possible to strengthen and preserve good marriages and bring healing and restoration to couples who are struggling to survive. Among other things, this implies making an intentional effort to counter the cultural trends that have established divorce as an “easy” way of solving marital discord. There are several important biblical passages that speak directly to this subject. Perhaps the best place to begin is with Malachi 2:16, where we are told in no uncertain terms that God hates divorce and desires to bring healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation to broken marital relationships. This is the overarching principle that needs to define our attitude toward marriage and divorce as Bible-believing Christians. That said, it’s important to add that there are three situations in which the Scriptures seem to make allowance for divorce and remarriage: 1) When the first marriage and divorce occurred prior to salvation. Although a person cannot undo all the sins he has ever committed, he is forgiven for the wrongs he did before accepting Christ (see 2 Corinthians 5:17). 2) When one’s mate is guilty of sexual immorality and is unwilling to repent and live faithfully with his or her marriage partner. Jesus states specifically that divorce and remarriage are acceptable when due to this kind of “hardness of heart” (see Matthew 19:9). 3) When one of the mates is an unbeliever and willfully and permanently deserts the believing partner. This does not refer to a temporary departure, but a permanent abandonment (see 1 Corinthians 7:12-15). Here’s a list of some other biblical references that may prove helpful in gaining a clearer understanding of the Christian view of marriage and divorce: • Marriage: Genesis 1:27; Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6; Romans 7:1-3; 1 Corinthians 7:1-40 • Divorce: Malachi 2:13-16; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 27; Matthew 19:3-9; Colossians 3:12-14 • Extra-Marital Sexual Activity: Exodus 20:14; Matthew 5:28; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20; Hebrews 13:4 • Biblical Role of Husbands and Wives: Ephesians 5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Peter 3:1-7. With these things in mind, it’s vital to add the caution that we must not become so caught up in assigning accountability for the circumstances of divorce that we fail to have compassion for the individuals involved. They need our friendship and understanding regardless of the circumstances surrounding the breakup of their marriage. To treat them as “lepers” or second-class citizens is not only cruel and insensitive, it is also a breach of Christ’s commandment that we love one another as He has loved us. There can be no sense in inflicting greater pain upon those who are already wounded. Instead, we are called to become agents of healing in their lives.