Relinquish Guilt

You are a good mom.

I'll say it again. You are a good mom. You have been a good mom. You are not a perfect mom. None of us are. However, you did the best you could with the information you had. As you reflect on your many years of parenting, life has likely taught a few lessons, and you may opt to do some things differently. Fair enough. Living, growing, and being filled with the wisdom of the Lord is what we call an active and fulfilling life. Good moms evolve as the Holy Spirit ministers, corrects, and teaches.

I am reminded of a time when I was a young single mom, and my young son would not stop crying. I don't remember what he wanted or what was wrong, but he was whining and crying, and I remember leaning into his face as we stood in the kitchen of my government-issued apartment, and I began to scream at him as loudly as I could to be quiet. Within a moment, I slapped him across his face. I cringe as I share that most challenging moment. It was not a shining parenting choice AT ALL! I was exhausted, working two jobs and going to college, and my parents were deceased. My support system was lacking, and my parenting suffered as such. But...do you know what? Despite all of that, I was and am a good mom.

That terrible parenting choice that day was not the whole sum of my parenting journey. I made some mistakes, but there were more good choices than bad ones, so I praise the Lord. As you reflect on your child-rearing years, it is essential to learn and grow from those mistakes, apologize when needed, and then move on. Don't allow a few moments to define your entire parenting season.

Speaking of guilt...I also want to address mistakes during this season. Your young adult children will make mistakes. The mistakes may even be shocking to you. They will likely disappoint or hurt you with some choices they'll make as they begin navigating their adulthood away from your home. Relinquish yourself from the guilt that it must somehow reflect your poor parenting. We have an excellent heavenly Father who parents perfectly, and we still stray like sheep. Your young adults will fall off the proverbial wagon (perhaps). Don't allow it to immobilize you. Our God is a redeemer, savior, restorer, and healer. He has not left you, children. What He did in your life, He will surely do in theirs.

Points to Ponder:

• Have you allowed memories of past parenting decisions to haunt you? Why or why not?
• Look up Ephesians 1:7 and write it down.