End the Stalemate: Disagreeing Without Destroying the RelationshipSample

Is Biblical Gentleness Optional?

Today, Christians seem to think biblical gentleness is relative to how they are treated. I’ll be gentle so long as you are to me. Thus, if a gentle approach is met with aggression, or we feel we are losing the debate, then it’s easily abandoned. Yet, is gentleness relative? I’m not so sure. Christian philosopher and educator Rick Langer persuasively argues that biblical gentleness is nonnegotiable. After pointing out that Jesus identifies himself as gentle and lowly as he asks us to take on his yoke (Matthew 11:28-30), Langer asserts that gentleness is a theme woven throughout the New Testament.

“Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:25-26). Gentleness, and a host of other gentle-like virtues, such as patience and kindness, are listed among the Holy Spirit’s fruit in our lives. The proof that the root of the Holy Spirit has taken hold in our hearts is that we bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives—and that fruit includes gentleness. The list goes on and on. Gentleness is a necessary qualification for Christian leadership (1 Timothy 3:3). Gentleness is essential for our response to non-believers (1 Peter 3:15). Gentleness is essential for restoration from sin and failure (Galatians 6:1). Perhaps most relevant for our times, Paul even suggests gentleness be applied to even the most extreme cases, cases where people have been snared by the devil and captured to do his will (2 Timothy 2:24-26)” (emphasis added).

Yet, what if a theologian or someone in your church small group holds a biblical view you think leads to sin or allows liberal theology to creep into the church? Surely, gentleness wouldn’t be the right approach to that type of view, would it? Such a view would need to be firmly called out and stringently rebutted. This seems to be the approach some Christians with significant platforms are taking toward those with whom they disagree. How would Paul advise in the situation where a believer is clearly in sin?

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin,” asserts Paul, “you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently” (Galatians 6:1). To be clear, this fellow believer is in sin or leading others into sin. Paul is clear that this sin must be addressed, but equally clear it should be done gently. The verb Paul uses for gentle (katarizo) is a medical term and suggests careful mending of a broken bone.

Today, ask yourself the following about gentleness:

Do I view gentleness as being relative to how others treat me, or is it a biblical nonnegotiable?

What are ways people treat me that tempt me to abandon a gentle approach?

Does it make it easier to be gentle knowing that Jesus used it to describe himself, and it is sure to bring him pleasure when we imitate him?