Marriage on the Edge Sample

Hearts on the Edge

God created everything—including us. He also created marriage. He has always had a perfect plan for your life and for your marriage. In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul makes that plan very clear as it applies to married couples. “But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. … And the husband must not leave his wife.” God would not have given you that instruction if He was not going to equip you to fulfill it.

As a counselor, helping a couple improve their marriage involves a process. I help them identify the real problem, explore solutions and find one that seems to fit. Next they try it out, and then we evaluate. That process usually works, but if I want to work myself out of a job with them (which is my goal with every couple), there is much more that needs to be done.

Most of us can make changes that will make things better at least for the short term. But change for the long term is different. That involves a heart change, and who better to change a heart but God? Ezekiel 11:19 says, “And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart.” It’s in this new, tender heart surrendered to Him that God can work to sanctify and refine us; forming us more into His likeness.

Letting God change our hearts is a three-step process. It really is not complicated. The more I learn about God, the more I see His plans for us are simple - we just seem to have trouble following them. So it is not only letting God change our heart; it is letting Him keep it changed that is often the challenge. Here we go:

Step one is simply admitting we have been selfish and have put our wants and desires above God’s. This is essential. Nothing changes without this step. It may take you some time, prayer, and soul searching. Take all the time you need.

Step two: make a commitment to put God first in everything and seek His help to do this. If we really want a better life and a better marriage God has to be first.

Step three: keep God first. It is God first, spouse second one day at a time for the rest of your life. Looking at it from a lifetime perspective can be overwhelming. Looking at it one day at a time is very doable.

Next Steps:

• Is there anything that is holding you back from turning to God and putting him first in your life? If so, what is it? What’s the next step in working through that?
• What is one step you can take as a couple to turn toward God?